


travelling home with you

by ForestFish



Category: Slam Dunk
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Development, Character Study, Feel-good, First Kiss, First Time, Fishing, Fluff, Future AU, Gen, I've tagged this as teen and up and didn't mention underage sex, It's not extremely graphic, M/M, Not Beta Read, Okinawan culture references, Queer Youth in the 90s, Road Trips, Rukawa has abandonment issues, Sea lots of sea, Sendoh has a rich absent father, Set in the 90s like in the canon, Slow Burn, Summer Vacation, Underage Drinking, War veterans, analog technology, and yeah, but that's it, but there is sex, headcanons, i'll warn about those scenes on the description of the chapters, it's not extremely graphic and it's technically underage since rukawa is still 17, sendoh takes a lot of pictures, there are feelings so many feelings, they're always by the sea, they're travelling on his father's money
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27478159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForestFish/pseuds/ForestFish
Summary: Sendoh takes Rukawa down to Okinawa on a fishing trip that'll take them approximately 2 weeks of sharing Sendoh's 1978 Toyota Corolla. It's Sendoh's last summer as a high schooler and he wants to get good memories from it. Hikoichi was supposed to go but flaked out last minute so they're on their own. Quickly enough they find that they'd been ignoring their feelings. When you're out in the world, you're bound to meet and see people. These people end up taking a bit of you with them and leaving some of them in you.
Relationships: Rukawa Kaede/Sendoh Akira
Comments: 14
Kudos: 18





	1. Prologue - It's just you and me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. A rare English fic in this here fandom and ship. This is a fic I've started writing in 2015 but am only now finishing. As i'm posting this, it's not finished yet but it will be soon, if all goes well.
> 
> It's a road trip AU set in the 90s (since the canon is set in the 90s as well) and it's set all the way from Kanagawa down to Okinawa, where they hang out the longest and where they meet the most fantastic people.
> 
> There's plenty of this fic to read. It's low-key dated in some of the tropes because I wanted to get that old vibe in for my own enjoyment. Remindert that I wrote this mostly because I wanted to read a senru fic that fit the things I liked and thought about them. It's long, probably unnecessarily so, but it is what it is. I'm posting it now to commit to finishing it. I know this is a mostly dead fandom but I love this ship to death and I love Slam Dunk to death. Finally I'm posting a fic that goes with the pfp I have on here. 
> 
> I hope that whoever decides to read it, enjoys it as much as I've enjoyed writing it on and off all these years. I hope I can really finish it soon. If even one person reads it and enjoys it, I'll be glad.

* * *

When Rukawa walked to the ‘78 silver Toyota Corolla with his sports bag hefted on his shoulder on that hot Tuesday morning and the familiar sweet scent of hair gel filled his nostrils before he noticed that the sole occupant of the vehicle was a smiling Sendoh with his perfectly spiked hair, he had the feeling that that approximately two week trip wasn’t going to go as smoothly as he’d expected.

“Where’s Hikoichi?” asked Rukawa through the rolled down window.

“Flaked out on me, something about his sister taking him on a work trip.” Said Sendoh with a shrug. He didn’t seem so bothered about it.

Rukawa made a face.

Or rather, _the_ face.

Sendoh laughed out loud.

“Don’t make that face!” He said afterwards “I’ll start thinking that you’re dreading spending time with me...” His tone was mock hurt and he even pouted a little giving him a blatantly fake sad look.

Rukawa narrowed his eyes at him.

“So, how will it be? Am I going alone?” Sendoh asked with a friendly smile and a meaningful look in his eyes.

Rukawa held his look for a moment before he opened the passenger’s side door, slid onto the passenger’s seat and turned back to drop his bag on the back seat.

“Let’s just go.” He said firmly, closing the door with a loud thud.

Sendoh grinned before shifting the gear and driving off.

He knew that Rukawa wouldn’t fail his word.

* * *


	2. Day 1 – Kanagawa → Cape Irago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sendoh keeps detouring to seaside but it's a fishing trip after all, isn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's fluff and feelings here. Sendoh realises them first.
> 
> I'm too doped to go through and get more details. I remember that there a feelings and Rukawa is soft. Don't fight me.

* * *

To put it simply, Sendoh had asked Rukawa to go with him three days before, so he had his reasons to be apprehensive. He wasn’t much of a thinker, sure, but even he could tell that such a long trip was something that _had_ to be planned ahead.

Sendoh had just gotten his driver’s license (he’d turned 18 a couple months before) and he’d gotten his first car as a gift from his father. A 78 Toyota Silver Corolla. It was a bit dated, alright, but it was a tough car and it was in great shape.

Sendoh was now in his third year of high school, and he was Ryounan’s basketball team’s captain.

Ryounan had won this year’s Interhigh. They’d won against Shohoku by two points on the deciding match.

_It was a fluke_ , he’d told Rukawa afterwards with a shit-eating grin as they shook hands (Rukawa now shook his hand, like a good sportsman even though he kind to squeezed too hard. Probably a Shohoku habit). Rukawa had nearly punched him in the face for that comment. It wasn’t a fucking fluke! He was a damn good player and that was that.

So basically, these were his last summer holidays as a high school student and he was naturally going to spend them doing something he’d always wanted to do – go fishing in Okinawa.

He’d told Rukawa about his plans of going to Okinawa three days earlier as they were sitting on the floor drinking water after one of their, now weekly, one-on-ones. Rukawa hadn’t commented on it; he’d just nodded nonchalantly. It didn’t concern him.

That was, until Sendoh had the brilliant idea of inviting him to go with him. Rukawa had looked at him for quite a bit, wondering if he’d heard him right. Was he seriously inviting him for a four days car trip? Actually eight, if you counted the trip back. It was really sudden and Rukawa genuinely didn’t know what to think of it, so he simply agreed. Thinking too much was troublesome and he had literally no reasons to refuse, so why not?

Sendoh was so happy that it seemed like all his dreams had come true at once.

When Hikoichi found out that they were going to Okinawa, he practically begged to go too, because he wanted to check the Okinawan basketball teams. He didn’t have to beg though as Sendoh was quite okay with taking him along. But in the end, his sister had asked him to go on a work trip with her to the States and he’d chosen to go with her instead.

And so there they were, alone, on their way to Ashigarakami.

“You’re awfully silent.” Sendoh commented, chuckling “But then again, you’re always like that so I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“Does the radio work?” Asked Rukawa in return.

Sendoh was caught by surprise with the random question and raised an eyebrow.

“Hm, yes it does. Go ahead.” He gestured in the radio’s direction with his head.

Rukawa turned the button and it worked, but there was only static. He clicked his tongue against his teeth and turned the tuning button to try and find a station with decent music but to his dismay they were filled with _trashy_ pop-music. Rukawa was getting visibly frustrated. Where was the rock music?

“What are you looking for?” Asked Sendoh as he watched him get pissed at the radio and tried not to laugh.

“Rock.” He replied dryly. Why did they not have decent music on the radio?

He was flicking through the stations and getting more frustrated by the moment until he passed through a song and Sendoh gasped.

“Go back, go back!” He exclaimed “I like that song!”

It was some old ballad called _Hitomi wa Diamond_ sung by Matsuda Seiko.

Rukawa stared at him with a look that clearly said _‘Are you serious?’_

But he was serious. He was _dead serious_. Not only did he _know_ the song, but also shamelessly started singing along in his deep voice that didn’t match the singer’s sweet tone at all. It was good but it was also terrible. Rukawa gave him a look and then shook his head, looking away.

He was so lame, Rukawa thought, rolling his eyes. _So_ lame. The gap between his personality and his looks was astonishing.

(Rukawa was a very cool guy and his looks matched his personality perfectly, mind you).

Sendoh was even moving his head dramatically as he sung, tapping his fingers on the wheel as they drove down a crowded road.

And after _Hitomi wa Diamond_ , came a song called _Tashika na Koto_ by Oda Kazumasa that Sendoh naturally knew as well. It seemed to be an 80s ballads throwback special, and Rukawa found out, the hard way, that Sendoh was a ballads guy.

He started fearing for his sanity.

* * *

Ashigarakami was a nice place, and Sendoh decided to stop there because he wanted to go see Lake Tanzawa and take some pictures of the mountains.

It was a beautiful view, alright, with Mt. Fuji in the back and the sparkling water beneath, but if they were going to stop everywhere so that Sendoh could go take pictures, two weeks wouldn’t be enough to go to Okinawa and return to Kanagawa.

Rukawa was scowling at the thought while looking into the distance when he suddenly heard the loud click of Sendoh’s professional camera near him and looked at him only to see him grinning proudly.

“Gotcha! Too good to miss, that serious profile of yours.” He said winking at him as he put the camera back in its bag “Let’s go, we have plenty of road ahead of us.”

Rukawa sighed and followed him away from the lake. At least he wasn’t stuck at home, alone, with nobody to play basketball with.

Afterwards they went to grab something to eat. All the while, Sendoh told him all about the lake and the local legends and how he didn’t quite like fishing in lakes because the fish were trapped there so they couldn’t go anywhere and it was like fishing in a tank and that was no fun. Rukawa didn’t see what was so fun about fishing, either. He let him talk, though, and actually listened.

“You’re like an old man.” He told him bluntly over his strawberry milkshake. He’d removed the lid and the straw and was drinking it directly from the cup.

Sendoh had stopped going on about Ashigarakami and fishing to enjoy his lemon popsicle and was now watching the people that walked past the boulevard where they were sitting under a bright orange parasol. He nearly choked on his popsicle when he heard Rukawa’s sudden comment.

“Why?” He asked in a mix of surprise and amusement.

“Fishing.” Rukawa replied, sucking on the last bits of his milkshake before fetching a napkin to wipe his mouth.

Sendoh started laughing. Rukawa kept the same expressionless face, not understanding why he was laughing.

“You’re really an interesting guy! One can’t get bored around you even though you’re not a talker.” He told him, when he stopped laughing, smiling at him. He didn’t bother defending his hobby.

Rukawa didn’t understand. That was new. He always had the impression that people were uncomfortable around him, not that he minded it much, really, but it was strange to hear someone say that he was interesting.

“Ok, let’s go, we have a lot of road ahead.” Sendoh said after patting the table and standing up. He yawned before smiling down at Rukawa “I’ll get the bill.”

Rukawa stood up as well and didn’t say anything about him paying. He’d said he’d pay for everything anyway, so.

* * *

They passed right through Yamakita and then to the Shizuoka District passing through Gotemba and were now heading for Susono.

The 80s throwback wasn’t over on that radio station, and Rukawa was annoyed, terribly so, if the huffing was anything to go by. What the fuck was that romantic bullshit and why on earth did that guy like it!?

Sendoh noticed his mounting aggravation and couldn’t help grinning playfully.

“Do you hate ballads that much?” He asked, turning off the radio. Rukawa was startled by the sudden silence and looked at him.

He shrugged slightly.

“They’re stupid.” He grunted.

“Aw, don’t say that…” whined Sendoh halfheartedly “They’re sweet!”

“ _Sure_.” Rukawa muttered, looking away.

“What do you listen to, then?” Asked Sendoh.

“Rock.” Rukawa replied simply. Repeated really. He’d already told him that. Had he really forgotten? Well, he didn’t really have to remember so it was fine. He shifted in his seat and crackled his neck before yawning loudly and getting as comfortable as he could, leaning against the window and his seat belt. “I’m going to sleep. Don’t turn that thing on.”

Sendoh chuckled amused.

“Alright.” He agreed.

“And don’t wake me up.” Rukawa warned “I don’t forgive anyone who wakes me up.”

Sendoh laughed louder this time.

“Alright.” He repeated, glancing at him and noticing his awkward position “You can lean the back of the seat, you know? It’ll probably be more comfortable for you to sleep.” He reached his hand to the little handle on the side of the seat and turned it back a little to show Rukawa how he could do it “See?”

Rukawa nodded in approval and turned the handle until he felt comfortable. Then he rubbed his face on the soft material. He fell asleep right after.

* * *

Without music and Rukawa asleep, Sendoh drove quietly, lost in thought and enjoying the warm summer breeze that came from the rolled down window.

The view outside was nice and relaxing and the sky was blue and cloudless.

It was truly a beautiful summer day.

And, well, thanks to all that, Sendoh got distracted and didn’t notice where he was going until he felt the familiar scent of saltwater and saw the sea in the distance.

“Shit.” He cursed looking around. They weren’t supposed to be near the sea yet “ _Shit_.” He repeated when he looked at a sign that read Omaezaki.

That was quite far from where he wanted to go. And in a completely different direction, too! How hadn’t he noticed where he was going?

Well, screw it, there was nothing he could do now, was there? He wasn’t even upset, really, he just felt really dumb for not noticing. So, he drove to the shore and stopped the car there. All the while Rukawa was still fast asleep.

“Such a heavy sleeper.” Sendoh mumbled with a chuckle as he stopped the car by the beach. He grabbed a large map from the glovebox and got out of the car to open it on the bonnet to have a better look at the route he’d drawn with a red pen. It took him a while to find where he’d messed up, and then he laughed because it was such a dumb mistake.

And well, since he was already by the sea, and he had his fishing gear in the boot of the car, _and_ Rukawa was fast asleep, not to mention that he was a little tired and had never fished in Omaezaki, he decided to take a break. That was _technically_ a fishing trip after all, wasn’t it?

Omaezaki was a small peninsula, it extended into the sea. It was almost like an island, but it had land on one of its sides. They were at the part furthest into the sea. The fresh wind grazing his face and hair and the shimmering waters, sprinkled with specks of sunlight like diamonds, spreading endlessly into the distance practically begged him to sit there for a while.

Rukawa woke up about half an hour after Sendoh had sat by the sea on a blue and white foldable chair with his fishing rod.

At first he didn’t quite know what was happening, for a moment he didn’t even know where he was, but then he remembered all of it, and wondered why he was alone in the car and especially why the car wasn’t moving.

That was until he spotted Sendoh in his checkered shirt not so far from the car.

He got out of the car and stretched while yawning.

“What are you doing?” Asked Rukawa.

Sendoh was lost in thought looking into the distance, so he was a bit startled when he heard Rukawa’s quiet voice. He gave him a puzzled look and looked at the fishing rod and at the sea before looking at him again and replying.

“Uh, fishing?”

Rukawa had never seen such a bewildered look on Sendoh’s face.

He looked silly and it was kind of endearing.

Wait, no. _Endearing?_ No way. _Stupid._ Just plain stupid.

“Don’t give me that stupid look.” Rukawa scolded, a slight furrow forming between his eyebrows “This is Omaezaki. We’re not even close to the road.”

Sendoh chuckled, scratching the back of his neck and lowering his head a bit.

“Well, I kind of got distracted and took a wrong turn. I only noticed when I saw the sea.” He explained, glancing at him with a bashful smile. He then straightened himself and shrugged “And since I was already here, and this is such a nice place, I decided to take a break.” He paused a bit looking at him “Sorry?” He tried.

Rukawa rolled his eyes and shook his head before sitting on the floor near him, leaning back and supporting himself on his hands. It really was a nice place, he mentally agreed. No, he wouldn’t say that to that sleazy bastard. He breathed in the familiar scent of the sea and closed his eyes.

“You’re not mad.” Sendoh noticed with a soft smile, not without a hint of surprise “I thought you’d be at least a little upset.”

“I am a little upset.” Rukawa confirmed, simply “But I’m not mad. We have nowhere to be anyway.”

Sendoh remained silent for a moment, taking in his words, before having a fit of laughter. Rukawa was such a simple guy, it was amazing!

“Stop laughing, dumbass. So noisy.” Rukawa complained, pushing him a little and almost making him fall off his chair, which only made him laugh more.

* * *

“You didn’t catch any fish.” Rukawa commented after they left Omaezaki behind and were heading back to the road. He was leaning against the open window, letting the wind ruffle his hair.

“I know.” Sendoh said, snickering “It happens. The fish win this time.” He wasn’t bothered by it at all, which was somewhat odd. Wasn’t catching fish the point of fishing?

Rukawa remained silent for a moment before speaking again.

“What time is it?” He asked.

Sendoh glanced at his wristwatch (his car didn’t have a clock).

“2:35pm.” He told him “Are you hungry?”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll stop in Okazaki.” He said “They have a great gyoza restaurant there!”

Rukawa didn’t care to ask how he knew. In fact, asking him such a pointless thing didn’t even cross his mind. Gyoza sounded great, that was all he needed to know.

The restaurant was traditional, not fancy at all, but the food was fantastic, and it was also quite cheap.

“It’s great, isn’t it?” Sendoh asked with a smile in his eyes and his mouth full of gyoza.

Rukawa looked at him and hummed in agreement, his mouth also filled with food. Neither of them was paying much attention to manners. Hunger spoke louder than social conventions.

Now well fed and their thirst satisfied, they went back to the car.

* * *

Rukawa couldn’t stand the lack of music and he was regretting that he hadn’t brought his Walkman and his precious cassette tapes.

He really wasn’t a talkative person.

Honestly, he thought that people talked too much and said a bunch of useless things that nobody wanted to hear. He would rather rely on actions than on words. He hated people that talked too much. That was the reason why he couldn’t stand guys like Sakuragi and Nobunaga, who couldn’t keep their bloody mouths shut to save their lives.

Words, more often than not, were empty, in his opinion.

And being completely honest, that was one of the reasons why he enjoyed Sendoh’s company and had accepted his invitation to go with him to Okinawa. While he was a friendly bloke, he wasn’t very talkative. He was good at small talk, though. Commenting on the weather, and school and basketball, that he did. But he didn’t go any further. He never asked personal questions or shared personal information. Rukawa couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt annoyed at something Sendoh had said to him after one of their one-on-ones (the moments when they sat down to rest were the moments when they chatted, or something as close to a chat as Rukawa could manage).

He respected him and his personality, and that was what made Rukawa feel so comfortable around him.

Hell would freeze over before he said it aloud, but he genuinely liked spending time with Sendoh. He wouldn’t have spent over a year meeting him after classes to play basketball if he didn’t. And really, it wasn’t like he didn’t like his teammates. He honestly did like them (he also wouldn’t tell them that).

They were a merry lot, and they were all good folk, but with Sendoh it was _different,_ he couldn’t quite explain it.

He caught himself looking forward to their one-on-ones and wanting to be with him in general. It wasn’t a weird feeling at all, though. He knew why that happened. It felt like Sendoh was the only person who understood him, and that was a completely new feeling.

“You can try looking for a station that’s playing rock.” Sendoh suggested with a gentle smile looking in his direction. Rukawa was shaken out of his thoughts. He blinked and moved away from the window, looking blankly at him.

There it was.

_How could he know that he was brooding like that because there was no music?_

Rukawa didn’t say anything in return, focusing instead in turning the radio on and trying to find a station with _actual_ music.

It was no good. He only found more of Matsuda Seiko’s kind of music.

He just gave up, huffing.

“Didn’t you bring cassettes? I thought you had a Walkman?” Sendoh inquired.

“I do.” Muttered Rukawa reluctantly “But I forgot it.”

Sendoh laughed and Rukawa glared at him earning an annoying little smile from him and looking away again with a frown between his brows. He could be quite annoying sometimes, though. That stupid smile was infuriating!

“Don’t be so pissy.” Sendoh told him, chuckling. He thought that Rukawa’s frowning face was funny. “Next time we stop, we can go shopping for cassettes. It has a cassette deck, see?” He pointed at the small gap in the radio.

Rukawa looked at where he was pointing but said nothing in return. The frown between his brows disappeared though, and Sendoh noticed.

After about half an hour, Rukawa was napping again.

* * *

While Rukawa was asleep, Sendoh stopped at a gas station for fuel and to buy some snacks. He then noticed a stand with various cassette tapes and CDs (which were no good, because they had no way of playing them) and went to take a look to try and find something that Rukawa might like.

He looked through them, but he wasn’t much of a music expert so he couldn’t tell what was what. The clerk was a young girl and she happened to like rock music too, so she recommended him her favourites and assured him that a rock music lover would enjoy them.

“They’re all foreign.” Sendoh noticed, looking at the English titles in the back of the boxes and not understanding half of them.

Well, he hoped that Rukawa would like them anyway.

And the afternoon was rolling by.

It was now 6pm. It would be a while until sunset, and Sendoh was planning on driving a little into the night before stopping at some nice inn to sleep. He was fortunate enough to have a considerable amount of money to spend for these special holidays.

Sendoh’s attention drifted off easily if he was alone - or if the person he was with happened to be asleep.

So, while he enjoyed the view and the weather, lost in thought, he once again ended up taking a wrong turn and when he realised that he wasn’t on right track he was already seeing the sun going down in the horizon over the sea.

“Ah, again.” He mumbled acceptingly, sighing “He’ll think I’m doing it on purpose…”

They were at Atsumi Bay. How on earth hadn’t he noticed that he’d passed right through Nishio and Anjo? Certainly the signs had been huge.

Well, there was no use crying over spilled milk and _boy_ , the place sure was great. As Bob Ross would say, those were _happy little accidents._

Rukawa woke up about a quarter of an hour after Sendoh had stopped the car near Cape Irago’s lighthouse.

The sun was setting, so everything was tinted with a soft orange light and Rukawa wasn’t sure what was happening. He noticed that the car wasn’t moving and that he was alone once again. He didn’t have to look too hard to find Sendoh in his foldable chair near the lighthouse with his fishing rod.

“Why does he like fishing so much?” Rukawa thought in exasperation “What’s this?” He muttered noticing a small plastic bag near the gear shift. He peeked inside and noticed, not without much surprise, that they were cassettes. With his mouth agape he noticed that they were some of his favourite bands.

Sendoh had remembered to buy them for him.

He looked at Sendoh’s silhouette in the distance once again and felt weird. It wasn’t a bad feeling at all, but he had no words in his vocabulary to name it.

“What are you doing _, again_?” He asked Sendoh once he got to his side.

Sendoh was startled once again and blinked, confused.

“Uh, fishing?” He replied with an easy smile, looking him in the eyes. He looked good with the setting sun’s light on his face and hair, casting his peculiar shadow on the ground.

“This is cape Irago.” Rukawa stated, sitting on the floor near him and huffing “We’re really off the road this time.”

“Well…” Sendoh started, chuckling “I noticed that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be in Atsumi, but then I remembered that this place was nearby and I’ve always wanted to come here, so…” He explained with a light shrug.

“We should stay here for the night.” Rukawa suggested, looking into the distance at the setting sun. The sky was orange and pink and purple. It was soothing.

Sendoh looked at him.

“Hm…I was planning on driving a little into the night…” He mused before saying simply with a smile “But why not? I’m tired anyway.”

They sat there by the sea until the sun sunk in the horizon and it became too dark to fish. Sendoh packed his fishing gear (he didn’t fish anything this time either), and they drove off to look for an inn to spend the night.

It was 8pm when they found a good place. It was a traditional inn with access to hot springs.

“Isn’t this too expensive?” Asked Rukawa as they walked into the lobby after having parked the car outside.

“Don’t worry about that.” Sendoh dismissed with a smile.

“You’re rich.” Rukawa pursed his lips and gave him a sideways look.

“I’m not” Sendoh snorted “but my father is.” He said as he walked to the reception desk to do the check-in.

Rukawa didn’t comment on that. Something in the way that Sendoh talked about his father gave him the impression that they weren’t in such good terms with each other.

But well, it didn’t concern him anyway, so he just dropped the subject at once.

“Do you know that Tenno Festival is going on in Tsushima?” The receptionist told them with a kind smile after they were done taking care of the paperwork “You should go see it, it will certainly please you!”

Sendoh’s face lit up as he grinned. He looked at Rukawa.

“Do you feel like going? I heard it’s really beautiful!” Sendoh told him “They send like a dozen boats filled with paper lanterns down the Tenno river and it’s amazing.”

Rukawa sighed and shrugged. How could he say no when he looked so eager to go?

He kind of regretted it later though. Just a little. Maybe not at all.

“Why do I have to wear this?” Rukawa asked grumpily, looking at the dark green yukata he was wearing. It wasn’t so bad, but it was kind of lame. Why was he letting himself be dragged into this nonsense?

They’d bought the yukatas at the inn. _Really_ convenient that they’d be profiting off that as well, those bastards.

“Because this is a festival and it’s tradition to wear a yukata, Rukawa-kun!” Sendoh said cheerfully. His yukata was a lot livelier; it was dark blue, and it had light blue dragons on it. It looked strangely good with his hairstyle, Rukawa thought.

Sendoh laughed merrily and casually put an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Rukawa was so astonished with the sudden contact that he couldn’t react, so he just let it be and didn’t push him away.

“We’re on holidays! We should make the most of them!” Sendoh said, laughing “Do you feel like being defeated at the shooting booth?” He teased with a shitty cheeky smile, glancing at him. He knew how to play him.

Rukawa scoffed. Now he was talking a language he could understand well.

_Challenges._

“You wish, dumbass.”

And their _little_ competition ended up in a tie. They were so into it, that they’d drawn a small crowd to watch them. They stopped mostly because they already had too many stuffed toys. They were just too good at it.

So now they were walking away, each of them carrying an armful of stuffed animals.

It was around 10pm and they still wanted to see the boats.

“This is your fault, moron.” Rukawa accused, scrunching his nose because he had a stuffed cat’s whiskers up his nose, and it was itching like mad.

“Shut up… you were also into it!” Sendoh complained “What are we gonna do with all this? We can’t take them to the inn.”

“This is your faul-” Rukawa tried to repeat angrily but the itching on his nose got too unbearable. He gasped before sneezing loudly. His whole body shuddered with the sneeze and he opened his arms when he tried to sneeze into his arm.

“Bless yo- ah…” Sendoh wanted to give him his blessing but he noticed that he’d dropped half the stuffed animals on the floor with the sudden movement.

He dropped the rest as he wiped his nose on his yukata’s sleeve.

“Shit.” Rukawa muttered, sniffling in annoyance. On that moment a little girl, around four years old, passed near them holding her mother’s hand and noticed the stuffed toys on the floor. Her eyes shone in yearning. But she then looked at Rukawa’s fearsome figure towering over her like a really mean giant and she cowered in fear, hiding behind her mum.

“What’s the matter, dear?” Her mother asked, looking down at her. She then noticed Rukawa and understood. She looked quite scared, too.

Sendoh had to intervene.

“He’s not a bad person!” He assured them with a kind smile “He’s just a little upset because we’ve won too many stuffed toys and we don’t know what to do with them.” He explained, he then crouched near the little girl and gave her a warm smile “Do you want to keep one of them?” He looked at the mother silently asking for permission. She smiled and nodded.

The little girl seemed to like Sendoh, because she coyly returned his smile and nodded as well.

“Take your pick, then.” He told her, holding out his armful of toys “You can take two” he added “to make up for Kaede-kun’s scary face.” He glanced at Rukawa with a sly smirk.

Rukawa quickly turned to him upon hearing his given name, his heart skipping a beat. People rarely called him by his given name outside of his family not even his teammates used it.

And his name just sounded _too_ _good_ in Sendoh’s voice and he didn’t understand why, but it was a little embarrassing.

He cleared his throat to cover his embarrassment. Sendoh didn’t notice.

The little girl ended up taking a big blue hippopotamus and a brown teddy bear with an orange ribbon around its neck. She then wanted to touch Sendoh’s spiky hair, and he let her, earning a giggle from her. Her mother thanked him, and they left. Afterwards they walked around looking for families with children and asking if they wouldn’t mind taking one of their extra stuffed animals. It was super silly, but Sendoh at least seemed to be having lots of fun. The kids were stoked too, mostly because their parents hadn’t bothered winning them toys.

In the end, there was only one big black cat that was missing one eye. Coincidentally, the one whose whiskers had tickled Rukawa’s nose.

“I guess we’re stuck with that one. Nobody wanted it.” Sendoh said, chuckling “Should we give it a name?”

“Kitaro.” Rukawa replied right away as expressionless as ever.

Sendoh lost it.

“Like the youkai?”

“Yes. It doesn’t have one eye.” Rukawa explained pointing the place where the other should have been.

Sendoh couldn’t stop laughing. Rukawa was such a nerd. Why on earth had he remembered about _Gegege no Kitaro,_ that silly old anime?

“Ah! They should be sending the boats at any moment now.” Sendoh suddenly remembered.

So they sprinted to the pier, Rukawa holding Kitaro in his arms.

And they got there just in time.

It was indeed an amazing view and the night sure was pleasant. Beautiful traditional music could be heard along with the cheery buzz of mingled voices. A warm breeze blew, bringing the oddly comforting smell of burning candles. Hundreds of paper lanterns decorated the small fleet of richly ornamented boats, floating over them like giant shining mushrooms. They were slowly moving down the river. The orange light filled the air and reflected on the water, making it look like liquid gold. People were sitting or standing on the margins of the river enjoying the show in the company of their loved ones.

Rukawa was mesmerized. Never in his life had he seen something so pretty. It showed in his eyes that he liked it even if the rest of his face didn’t.

His eyes were shining and wide open.

Sendoh also thought that the show was amazing, but he was more interested in watching Rukawa’s reaction.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Rukawa looked at him with his shining eyes. He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. He also didn’t have to.

They looked into each other’s eyes for a fleeting moment until they looked away at the same time to watch the boats again.

Sendoh felt his heart skip a beat and sighed softly. He actually smiled at the feeling. A feeling he had never really felt, but had heard and read plenty about.

He was so screwed.

 _«This is bad»_ he thought, chuckling silently _«This is really bad. »_

He knew what that heartbeat meant. That he was alive, of course but also that he was feeling dangerous things.

They returned to the inn sometime later. It was around one in the morning and they were dead tired from all that walking around.

The inn was kind of a mix of traditional and modern, so they were going to sleep in futons, which wasn’t bad at all. The futons were really comfortable. They felt like lying down on a cloud.

It was incredible, Sendoh thought, that he was in some random inn in Aichi with Rukawa. He would have laughed if anyone had told him that that would happen one week earlier.

He happened to be one hell of an actor, because he’d managed to look casual and spontaneous when asking Rukawa to go with him on his trip, when in all honesty he’d been planning on inviting him _for weeks_ prior to that.

And at that time, he didn’t think much of it. He enjoyed Rukawa’s company and thought that he’d be a great company on his last holidays as a high schooler.

People wondered why he and Rukawa got along the way they did, because according to them, they were opposites. Sendoh was outgoing and friendly and Rukawa was withdrawn and unreceptive.

Well, that was certainly not wrong, but it didn’t mean that they were opposites. At all.

“Which one do you want to ta-“ Sendoh started and stopped, snickering when Rukawa, put Kitaro, the one-eyed toy cat, on the floor and dropped on his knees at the feet of one of the two futons. He let himself fall forward onto it and yawned. He then slid up slowly to where the pillow was, and buried his head in it.

“’night.” He muttered, his voice muffled by the material. He was asleep not two minutes later.

Sendoh snickered.

He hadn’t even bothered to undress his yukata and pull the futons covers back. Well, it wasn’t cold at all, so it didn’t really matter.

Sendoh then got out of his yukata and put it aside before walking to the bathroom for a quick shower to get rid of the hair gel (it wasn’t comfortable at all to sleep with that in his hair and it also wasn’t good for his hair).

He returned ten minutes later rubbing his hair with a towel. His hair was now down and boring. He hoped that Rukawa wouldn’t wake up and see him walking around naked. But he didn’t wake up, so Sendoh silently went to his bag to get a pair of boxers and then went to his futon. No pyjamas, he liked sleeping in his underwear. He pulled the covers back and slid into the futon, covering himself with them.

Rukawa sure could fall asleep fast, but the same couldn’t be said about Sendoh. Although he was very tired and relaxed, he couldn’t sleep for about half an hour because there was too much on his mind.

He couldn’t get Rukawa’s pure mesmerized look off his mind. His eyes were usually narrowed and he always had that defiant look of someone you shouldn’t be messing with if you wanted to keep your teeth in your mouth. His eyes were sharp and seemed like they could look right through you. Sendoh knew that he wasn’t actually looking through anyone, mostly because he couldn’t be arsed to do that. He was a simple guy who didn’t care for much besides basketball; he just liked to be left alone and take naps (the bit about not messing with him was quite accurate though).

Looking in his direction, Sendoh noticed that he had turned to his side in his sleep.

His features were serene and his lips were slightly parted, his long silky hair spread lazily on the pillow and his forehead. His arms were bent upward near his face.

He was gorgeous even when he was asleep.

Sendoh covered his face with the comforter.

It was such a fuzzy feeling and it was so stupid! He’d always liked girls, too, so what was happening? Well, he sure wasn’t straight, if he was feeling something that intense for another man, but he didn’t like girls any less for it. He probably was what they called bi and honestly, it didn’t really bother him.

The only think that bothered him was the fact that maybe Rukawa wouldn’t return his feelings. Which was the most likely scenario, actually.

He smiled grimly and sighed.

 _«Well»_ , he thought as he felt his eyes get heavier with sleep _«as long as we stay friends, it should be ok. »_

It would be ok.

_Right?_

* * *

_«Why do I feel so uncomfortable? »_

Rukawa woke up lying on his back on the harsh floor because he’d rolled out of the futon in his sleep. The yukata was open and the back was wrinkled uncomfortably.

It took him a moment to realise what was happening and where he was. He noticed that it was still dark outside and wondered what time it was. Well, it wasn’t morning yet and he was still sleepy. Also annoyed for being awake before he had to be awake.

He sat down and huffed, looking around and seeing nothing. It was really pitch black.

Sendoh was probably sleeping peacefully and comfortably in his futon because he’d certainly been smart enough to get in bed properly, and not just flop on it like he’d done.

Rukawa was respectful enough to try and not wake Sendoh up as he stood up to go get rid of his yukata.

But he wasn’t careful enough.

Sendoh’s raspy sleepy voice startled him.

“Turn on the light if you want.” He said.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” Rukawa muttered. He didn’t like doing to others what he didn’t like having done to him, so he felt bad about it.

“’s ok.” Sendoh assured, yawning “I’m a light sleeper.” He told him. The sound of tossing and turning followed the sound of his voice in the dark.

Rukawa turned on the light and looked at the place where Sendou’s futon was only to see him now lying on his back with his hands behind his head and the comforter in a mess beside him. He was almost naked. With that faint yellowish light, the glow on his skin was almost eerie.

His hair was down and fell to his face and he was smiling lazily at him with sleepy half-lidded eyes.

With his hair down, Sendoh looked like a completely different person.

More _mature_ , more _serious_. Well, the Pacman themed boxers kind of toned that down, though, but still. It was a bit odd.

Rukawa felt his throat go dry at the sight but it didn’t show in his face at all.

He was staring though.

Sendoh chuckled hoarsely and lazily turned to his side, resting his head on his bicep and looking at him.

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” Rukawa said and he wasn’t lying. There was no ‘matter’. He was just a bit surprised, seeing him with his hair down but was that worth mentioning? He didn’t feel it was, so he didn’t say anything.

“Then why are you up?” Sendoh smiled, is eyes closing with the facial expression.

Rukawa pursed his lips in the slightest expression of annoyance.

“Uncomfortable.” He simply said with a light huff as he started to undo his yukata’s belt knot. Once he was done, he let it the yukata hang open before shrugging it off and chucking it aside.

Sendoh was eyeing him with a light smile playing at the corner of his lips. Rukawa was really beautiful, he thought, not finding another word to describe him. His skin looked smooth. He was elegant and charming, and his toned muscles looked just as strong as they were charming.

Rukawa wasn’t self-conscious though, he had no idea of the kind of impression he caused on Sendoh. Or on anyone, really.

He’d been looking in his bag for a t-shirt to wear, and he was shoving it down his head when he noticed Sendoh looking at him with that annoying little smile. Was he making fun of him?

“What?” He grunted.

Sendoh scoffed a laugh, startled by the sudden aggravation.

“You have beautiful skin.” He told him and paused pondering a little and smiling. It was no risk at all because Rukawa was as dense as they came “Is it as smooth as it looks?”

Rukawa felt like kicking his stupid smile off his face. He was really making fun of him, the idiot!

“I’ll kick your ass, moron.” He threatened in a low grunt as he walked to the light switch to turn it off.

He walked back to his futon and lied down on it again.

Sendoh was still muffling his laughter in the darkness.

“What’s so funny?” Rukawa grunted, stretching his leg to kick him. Sendoh yelped in surprise when he felt his foot on his leg, but that only made him laugh more.

Rukawa was getting seriously angry now.

“Don’t get mad, I’m not making fun of you.” Sendoh assured, a smile clear in his voice “It’s just that you’re cute when you’re annoyed, and I can’t help it.”

_What?_

“Who the hell is cute, dumbass?” Rukawa asked “I’ll seriously punch you, don’t test me.”

“I’m not trying to offend you, I’m sorry!” Sendoh guaranteed, an actually apologetic tone in his voice “Please don’t punch me?” He asked in a small voice.

Rukawa huffed.

Weirdo. _Fucking weirdo_. What the hell was he on about all of the sudden? 

“Weirdo.” Rukawa grunted.

Sendoh’s soft laughter filled the room.

“I know.” He sighed and smiled in the dark and then changed the subject, speaking softly “I was thinking we could visit the Nagoya castle tomorrow, it’s just, um, maybe half an hour from here? And I’ve never been there. I want some nice pictures.”

Rukawa wasn’t asleep yet but Sendoh thought he was so when he replied after a full minute, it kind of surprised him.

“I’ll take pictures of you.” Rukawa said quietly, a bit annoyed still but not mad anymore.

“What?

“I’ll take pictures of you.”

“I heard it, I was just… that’s unexpected.” Sendoh chuckled softly “You’re really unpredictable sometimes, aren’t you?”

Rukawa didn’t respond to that because it wasn’t relevant.

“You can’t take proper pictures of yourself and you said you want to make memories.” Rukawa clarified “I’ll take your pictures.” He repeated for the third time.

There was silent, cut only by the sounds of the night and the few cars zooming nearby.

“That’s kind of you.” Sendoh finally said “Thank you.” He smiled “I’d like to have a picture of us, together, too.”

Rukawa hummed and ultimately decided that it did make sense, since it was memories he wanted to make.

“Your camera has a timer, doesn’t it?”

“It does.”

“Then we can do that.” Rukawa said simply. Sendoh blinked in disbelief at how easy it’d been to have Rukawa agree with that “Goodnight.” Rukawa said and turned to the other side.

“Goodnight.” Sendoh said back, quietly.

How was it so hard to understand such a simple guy? He only did the things that he wanted to do at all times, do why did he want to do that? Sendoh hadn’t even requested it, he’d offered to do it.

 _Fuck,_ he thought, grimly, _this really is bad._

How was he supposed to deal with that damn infatuation? No, really, what was he going to do about it? There was nothing he could really do. He couldn’t tell him about it for fear of grossing him out and ruining their relationship. There was also the small issue of him not really knowing why or when it had started. It wasn’t even a problem that he’d never noticed that he was also attracted to men, the problem was that that man was Rukawa, a pigheaded, dense guy whose mind was at once the easiest thing to understand and the hardest. He knew how he worked and often played with it and he knew he was very logical and straightforward in his reasoning with a no bullshit attitude which made him act silly and grumpy when things didn’t go the way he expected them to. That was what made it hard for Sendoh not to overthink the fact that he’d offered, of his own free-will, to snap pictures of him because he’d told him he wanted to make memories. He’d even agreed to taking a picture together, suggesting the timer.

Why did he want to do that?

 _Oh,_ he thought a little relieved, _he’s probably grateful that I remembered his music._

He almost laughed in the dark of the room, despite feeling himself falling even harder. It was comforting to at least understand. Rukawa hadn’t thanked him with words and that was probably not something he generally did, he was probably the kind of person to show his feelings with actions. Sendoh felt like he was more than screwed by then.

* * *


	3. Day 2 – Cape Irago → Kyoto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are many more feelings here and they're escalating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They drink a little. Very illegal I know. Maybe they kiss and feelings are really picking up steam. Rukawa knows he's feeling but he's not quite there yet. He's not yet aware of his own issues that he'll have to work on.
> 
> Mild sexual content is mentioned.

* * *

They left the inn after having breakfast in the lovely buffet they had there. They stuffed their faces with food because it was included in the price and the price wasn’t cheap enough to just let that pass. Also, the food was amazing. When they rolled up in Sendoh’s old Toyota in front of Nagoya Castle it was 10am and it was sweltering hot outside already. There were plenty of tourists around and Rukawa regretted not having a bloody yukata on all of the sudden.

“Bet you’re longing for that yukata, eh?” Sendoh said with a cheeky grin, but he was about as sweaty as Rukawa and his light green short sleeve loose shirt was slightly dark on the armpit area. He could see the sweat shining on his chest through his unbuttoned neckline. Rukawa’s dark blue t-shirt was sticking to his body uncomfortably and was probably noticeable. He felt gross and angry now after Sendoh voiced his thoughts.

“Shut up, moron.” He grunted and Sendoh chuckled as he locked the car after getting his wallet and his professional camera.

“Don’t get mad at me, I also wish I were wearing one. No wonder they were so popular in the past. It just makes sense to wear something like that when it’s hot.” Sendoh commented and Rukawa sighed. Yeah, he was right of course. Their ancestors weren’t stupid, but they were, for yielding to the western style. The heat was making his patriotic sentiment grow, especially feeling the sun burn his skin.

“We should get sunscreen.” Rukawa said as they made their way through the crowd of white tourists, who frankly were mostly red. Sendoh chortled and nodded.

“I agree. I don’t want to look like these guys.” He commented, glancing at a foreign couple. The man’s skin was so red it made one wonder how he was still smiling “Not that we would end up like this, our skin isn’t this light.” He looked around for any shop selling that kind of thing and spotted one selling souvenirs and that sort of stuff that looked promising “Let’s check there.”

Rukawa followed him there and it seemed like they were the first Japanese tourists the vendor had had in a while because he was thoroughly shocked when Sendoh talked to him in perfect Japanese.

“Oh, you’re Japanese! That’s amazing!” The man said with a grin and then made a face “Not that I hate foreigners it’s just… my English isn’t good and their Japanese isn’t good either. Not many Japanese people come in when it’s this hot. You’re not from here, are you?”

“We’re not.” Sendoh smiled, friendly “We’re from Kanagawa.”

“Oh, Kanagawa! My nephew moved there to live with his wife. I’ve never visited.”

“You should, we have the Odawara castle that looks like this one! You’d love it!” Sendoh said playfully and the man laughed too.

“I’m sure I would!” The man said and Rukawa watched in silence as Sendoh and the man chatted away about absolutely nothing relevant. Sendoh talked about the sea and said it was great there, in Kanagawa, but didn’t even tell the man he liked to fish. In the end they left the store with a bag full of souvenirs, the sunscreen they wanted and two water bottles that were packed in Sendoh’s brand new Three Great Leaders-themed tote bag. They were both wearing simple white hats because Rukawa refused to get a themed hat, seeing that they would be going elsewhere, and it’d look ridiculous. Sendoh also stocked on film rolls for his camera.

(Sendoh hesitated a little to ruin his hairdo but ultimately chose to protect himself against the sun and flattened his spikes.

They also rubbed sunscreen because they weren’t dumb.)

Rukawa thought about the poems about the three great leaders and what they’d do about the bird who wouldn’t sing and realised that Sendoh would be Tokugawa. He wouldn’t force the bird to sing and he wouldn’t kill it – he’d just wait for it to sing. He, on the other hand, would force the bird to sing and if it still wouldn’t sing, he’d likely kill it because there’s no use in something that does nothing.

“I think you’d be Toyotomi Hideyoshi.” Sendoh said and Rukawa looked at him, once again upset that he’d guessed what he was thinking about. It really wasn’t that hard, given that the man had asked Sendoh which one of the leaders he’d be, and Sendoh said he didn’t know even though he likely did “Or maybe Oda Nobunaga… I’m not sure.” He was saying that aloud, but it felt like he wasn’t really speaking directly to Rukawa which was nice, Rukawa found, because he could choose to ignore it, if he wanted. He didn’t.

“You’d be Ieyasu.” Rukawa stated and made a face “A moron who has the patience to sit waiting for fish that never come has the patience to wait for anything.”

Sendoh opened his mouth but then closed it and smiled a little, glancing at him.

“You’re right. I would be Tokugawa Ieyasu.” Sendoh said and sighed looking up at the castle “Which one would you be?”

“You tell me.” Rukawa said, feeling a weird kick of defiance that didn’t really make much sense. Maybe it was because they were actually engaging in a somewhat personal conversation.

“Oh.” Sendoh muttered, smiling still and now really looking at him “That’s unexpected.”

_That’s right, I’m not as predictable as you think I am, moron._

“Hm…” Sendoh looked ahead again, fixing his eyes on the beautiful 15th century castle where the real generals had fought, conquered and lived “I think you’d be Oda Nobunaga but not, like” he sighed and paused a bit “let’s say it’s not literally killing. I think you’d just let it go, as in you, you’d give up on the bird, if it didn’t sing. You’d send it away.”

Rukawa didn’t say anything for a moment, taking that in. The careful explanation and the thoughtfulness. Yeah, that made sense. Rukawa wouldn’t really kill anyone or anything if he could avoid it. He’d just send it away and give up on it because it was useless, and he wasn’t patient enough to wait for it.

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Maybe.”

Sendoh chortled and shook his head before grabbing the guide he’d picked up from the shop to read more about the castle. He then dived into a thorough history lesson reading the guide aloud as they walked over to the castle. They took part of one of the English-speaking tours and it was kind of a mess because neither was proficient enough to understand what the guide was saying. Rukawa understood it a bit better than Sendoh but he frankly couldn’t care because they had the guide in Japanese and the important things had signs in Japanese.

“It’s really incredible to think about how old this place is” Sendoh whispered “the stuff that has happened here… it’s a shame we can’t take pictures…” he said side-eyeing the mean-looking security guard who was giving him a dirty eye because of his camera.

When they were finally outside, Sendoh took three pictures of the castle alone, not caring about wasting film. He was going for the second shot of the exact same pose when Rukawa intervened.

“You’re being ridiculous, moron. Give me that.” He demanded, reaching his hand for the camera and pulling the strap from around Sendoh’s neck. Sendoh sighed and then chuckled.

“That guard really annoyed me. I wasn’t even doing anything!”

“Maybe he didn’t like your look.”

“Oi!” Sendoh complained but Rukawa wanted a bit of revenge so he snapped a picture of that exact moment and then of the following because Sendoh’s mood shifted from annoyed to happy in a split second “You took two! Oh, man… they’re not even pictures of me with the castle.”

“They’re memories of your stupid face.” Rukawa said flatly and Sendoh cackled heartily “Stop being an idiot and go pose over there.” He pointed over to a place where nobody was standing. Sendoh obeyed and Rukawa stood there waiting and then knelt down when Sendoh was at a good distance for him to take a picture from the floor up where his face could be seen in front of the castle. Sendoh grinned and Rukawa snapped a picture.

“I think it turned out fine.” Rukawa said and turned the camera sideways to try and get a better angle. Sendoh walked backwards to be better in frame and Rukawa took another one. There was no way to know if it was good until the photos were developed “There.”

“I want one with you.” Sendoh said when Rukawa handed back the camera. Rukawa remembered agreeing to do it but being there now, he could tell that there was nowhere they could put the camera on and set the timer. They could ask someone to take their picture, but he wasn’t sure he trusted people who looked like undercooked lobsters.

“There’s nowhere to set the timer and these people don’t look trustworthy.” Rukawa said eyeing the tourists, not hiding how much he was judging them. Sendoh chuckled and sighed wondering about the same thing. Handing his camera over to some random person didn’t seem like a good idea. It wasn’t really that he’d be devastated if it got stolen, it was more that the roll inside had pictures he didn’t want to lose. So, he had an idea, and it wasn’t really an original idea but it seldom worked out well because you couldn’t see what you were doing, especially not with a big camera like his.

“Let’s do it like this.” He suggested and held the camera with the lens pointing towards them. Rukawa made a face.

“We can’t see if we’re in frame, moron.”

“We can take a couple.”

“Waste of roll.”

“I have plenty. Come on.” Sendoh grinned and put an arm around Rukawa’s shoulders to pull him against his side. Rukawa didn’t complain even though it was hot and uncomfortable to be so close. They were also both sweaty and shining with sunscreen.

“I’d ask for a smile but that’s asking for too much.” Sendoh chuckled after taking three different pictures in which he was beaming brightly and Rukawa was staring at the lens, slightly annoyed. Rukawa didn’t respond to that and they left soon after.

Maybe one of the pictures would come out good.

* * *

They drove for around two hours and Sendoh talked casually about the places they passed by as Rukawa changed the cassette tapes when they were done playing both sides. The sound was low because he wanted to listen to Sendoh speaking and of course he didn’t tell him that, but the sound of his voice was relaxing. His quiet tone, the casual droning on about the parks in Obu, a small city near Nagoya, the massive Buddha statue in Tokai that he pointed at through the window and Rukawa took the liberty of snapping a picture, knowing it might come out weird. They drove past Kawagoe in the Mie Perfecture, Yokkaichi, Suzuka and Kameyama and Sendoh talked about all those places as they went through them. They were mostly relatively small cities, with parks and factories, somewhat close to the sea and Rukawa had realised at last that Sendoh had planned the trip to an extent. He hadn’t booked inns or anything, but he’d mapped out where he wanted to go and Rukawa could tell he’d picked places near the sea on purpose. It made sense, honestly, seeing that the goal of the trip had been fishing in Okinawa. He’d gotten distracted more than once and driven to the coast and, honestly, Rukawa didn’t get mad at that and he didn’t really think there was a reason to be mad. For one, Sendoh was the one paying for everything and ultimately Rukawa had accepted to go with him knowing he wanted to go fishing, so it wasn’t really his place to complain. He was traveling around for free in the company of someone who made him feel comfortable, what was there to complain about?

“We can stop in Koga for lunch or we can keep going and stop in Kyoto instead.” Sendoh said after they stopped for gas. Rukawa mused for a bit and remembered something that was between those two places. He grabbed the map in silence to check if he was right. He was.

“Biwako.”

“Pardon?” Sendoh blinked at him.

“Biwako, moron. It’s between here and Kyoto. Wouldn’t you rather stop there?” He asked.

“Are you sure?”

Rukawa looked at him, taking in his surprised tone.

“I know you said you don’t like fishing in lakes because the fish are trapped there but Biwako is the biggest freshwater lake in the country. If you don’t want to, you don’t. It’s just weird to me.” Rukawa said, a little upset. Sendoh smiled and shook his head.

“No, no, you’re right. I did want to go there but I, well, I didn’t think you’d be happy with it, you know… stopping here and there to fish.” He explained starting the car and chuckling. Rukawa looked at him in disbelief “And I have been to Lake Biwa before, fishing.” He shrugged “It didn’t really feel like a must.”

Rukawa didn’t have anything to say to that, really. Sure, if he’d been there before, it made sense, but he’d still said that the main reason for not going there was him which frankly made him want to punch him in the face.

“Don’t do that again.”

Sendoh blinked, startled by the aggravation.

“What?”

“Not going to places you want to go because of me. Don’t do it again.” He demanded and angrily switched the tape. He fell silent again and Sendoh didn’t know what to say so he shut up and let Rukawa crank up the music. They spent over two hours in complete silence that was only filled by the rock music playing. There wasn’t much to be done, really. Sendoh didn’t want to keep talking and of course Rukawa wouldn’t strike a conversation, especially not if he was upset.

Really, Sendoh didn’t think he’d be upset about that. He really would end up going mad during this trip. That was a lot more than he’d bargained for. He’d been wrong. Rukawa wasn’t predictable at all and it was driving him mad.

* * *

They had lunch at a teriyaki restaurant near the lake and in the afternoon, after they’d stuffed their face with food, they headed over to the lake.

“Well” Sendoh finally spoke up after almost three hours of silence “I want to rent a boat and go fish in the actual lake. I’ve never done that.”

Rukawa looked at him and shrugged.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Cool.” Sendoh said with a small smile and nodded before walking to the renting stall to rent a motorboat big enough to fit two people comfortably and off they went. Rukawa didn’t question whether Sendoh knew how to manoeuvre a boat but he was right to assume he did know, otherwise he wouldn’t have suggested it so confidently.

He’d never been on a boat like that and he found that he liked it. The sway of the water didn’t make him sick. It relaxed him. The cool water breeze and the stunning clear waters of the lake, shining like crystals all the way through were mesmerising.

Sendoh got his fishing stuff out and sat down by the bow of the boat. Rukawa lied on his back behind him, looking at the clear blue sky, shining endlessly in a colour so bright it reminded him of a flower.

“Scorpion grass…” he mumbled without noticing he’d voiced his thoughts.

“I call them forget-me-nots.” Sendoh replied quietly and Rukawa blinked.

“That’s weird.”

“What is?”

“You’re reading my thoughts, stop that.”

Sendoh’s deep laugh filled the quiet of the soft swish swash of the water against the hull of the boat.

“You said it out loud, silly.” He told him “I don’t have the ability to read thoughts.”

Rukawa frowned a bit, feeling vexed that he’d really said something without noticing. It really was silly, and he blamed the relaxing, zen atmosphere of that lake in the shape of a musical instrument.

“You’ve been doing it a lot.” Rukawa said, not bothering to pretend it didn’t upset him. Sendoh chuckled quietly and sighed, reeling the fishing line out further.

“On expense of possibly offending you, I’ll be honest.” He said quietly “You’re quite predictable, sometimes.” He paused and Rukawa huffed. Sometimes was not all the time, so it wasn’t all bad “On the court, you’re not easy to predict. _At all._ But off the court, like… you’re a logical person, always straightforward about what you want and think. That’s a good thing, really. It probably feels like it’s not right now but it is.” He sighed deeply and bit the bullet “Yet you get pissed randomly just because I was… ah, I can’t even explain this, you’re actually not that predictable” he chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck “why did you even get upset that I didn’t want to come here because of you?”

Rukawa didn’t expect him to address that, even though the small fall out had been hanging between them for over three hours and had been responsible for completely shutting Sendoh up, something that Rukawa realised he didn’t like. His vague ramblings were soothing and interesting, like watching a documentary narrated by someone with a good voice, which was his case. He had a good voice.

And Rukawa was always as honest as he could be. Whenever he spoke, he spoke his truth.

“This is your last trip as a high schooler. It should be fun for you, even if your fun is fishing. I’m just a freeloader. You’ve been paying for everything, too. It makes no sense that you’d stop yourself from seeing the places you want to see because of me.”

He spoke clearly and with certainty and Sendoh knew he meant every word of it, which made it all the worse.

“Ah… you make it so difficult for me, Rukawa…”, he chuckled to a mildly bewildered Rukawa “if you’re honest, then I have to be, too.”

“Be honest, then.”

“It’s not as easy for me as it is for you, I’m afraid.” Sendoh chuckled and reeled the line in only to find that he’d fish some algae. He chuckled and threw it back in the water.

Rukawa was silent because he didn’t know what to say to that and probably wasn’t supposed to anyway. Sendoh finally kept going.

“But screw it” he snorted “I wasn’t honest when I acted like I was inviting you on a whim. I’d been planning on inviting you for weeks.” He paused, assessing the reaction. Nothing happened, so he kept going “Ah, this wasn’t something I randomly decided to do. I may be an idiot but I’m not that irresponsible, taking someone with me on an unplanned long trip. Especially not if that person is you.” He had his back turned to Rukawa but the tension on his back muscles was noticeable as was the seriousness in his tone.

Now, _that_ was something Rukawa had absolutely not been expecting to hear. Even more unexpected was the clench in his stomach and his slightly faster heartrate. It explained it though, why he was taking his feelings into account. If he’d wanted him to come all along, he was obviously an important part of the trip. Rukawa was used to being an important player, the MVP, really, but he wasn’t used to being _that_ kind of MVP. _At all._

He lived alone, his parents called him once a week, sometimes biweekly. He wasn’t really used to being important outside of basketball, where he really was important, where he went all out and did what he loved, what made him feel whole, especially after beating his individualism. Outside of the court though, he avoided getting too friendly with other people, even though he did appreciate them. He didn’t feel lonely often and didn’t go out of his way to hang out with other people and yet, when Sendoh had asked him to go on a long trip, he’d hardly thought about declining it. He had felt a bit apprehensive about the fact that it was apparently a poorly planned trip. Now he knew it wasn’t at all unplanned and didn’t know what to do with that information.

“Why?” He finally asked and it was a vague question that had a very simple answer.

“Why not?” Sendoh chuckled and Rukawa shouldn’t be able to argue with that but he was. He really was and for the first time in a long time he didn’t want to be honest. They were treading into personal territory and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Not yet.

“Am I good company?”

Sendoh took a moment to reply because he wasn’t expecting Rukawa to be that willing to talk all of the sudden.

“You are.” Sendoh finally said “You _really_ are.” He emphasised wondering how self-conscious Rukawa actually was deep down “Or I wouldn’t have wanted to invite you. I didn’t want to come alone and you’re the perfect company for someone like me.”

Rukawa fell silent, not really following. He and Sendoh were nothing alike, personality-wise, he didn’t think. Sendoh was friendly and sociable and a big goof, and Rukawa was the opposite of that; he was asocial, unfriendly and not particularly funny.

“We’re not as different as you think…or as everyone thinks, really.” Sendoh proceeded, chuckling and reeling in yet another chunk of algae that he promptly threw over into the water “It’s true that I’m talkative and out there but…” he shrugged “I talk about things, not myself. And you’re the same but you don't really talk a lot about things that aren't basketball. It feels like you're saving on the words you say.” He snorted a bit and then paused again before sighing and proceeding “That’s why I wanted you to come with me, because you’ll put up with me rambling when I feel like it and you’ll let me be in complete silence when I want to.”

Rukawa opened his mouth, looking at Sendoh’s back with half-lidded eyes and then close his eyes and his mouth, exhaling through his nose. His heartrate really was acting up for no good reason and he was a little upset.

“I’m not putting up with anything, moron. I’m listening.” He grunted and huffed, turning to the side “I’m going to nap.”

Sendoh wasn’t expecting that and it struck him straight in the heart but he ultimately didn’t comment because it was clear that Rukawa didn’t want to talk about it.

“Okay. I’ll only wake you if we have to leave.”

“I’ll forgive that.”

And Sendoh sighed, looking over to the distance, seeing the eerie, imposing vermillion Shirahige Shrine gate ahead, a structure that was almost 2000 years old. He pulled up his camera and snapped a picture.

He didn’t really want to remember that gate, because he’d seen it before. That was a memory of that moment.

* * *

Turned out that they were on the lake for over three hours and by the time Sendoh, completely absorbed by his whirlwind of thoughts, looked at his wristwatch he almost swore out loud. The sun would be setting soon, and it was quite a bit to reach the margin.

Rukawa woke up with the sounds of him putting his fishing supplies away.

“What time is it?” He asked, raspy, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

“Uh, it’s half past six. I’m sorry, I lost track of time.” Sendoh said and Rukawa sat up looking at the slowly setting sun.

“So, we’re staying here?”

“We can still make it to Kyoto and sleep there.” Sendoh promised “I’m really sorry about this.”

“No need to apologise so much, moron.” Rukawa said, annoyed “The sun won’t set that quickly. It’s summertime.”

Sendoh breathed heavily and snorted before nodding and crawling to the stern where the engine was to start it. It started easily and he quickly crawled back to the front to steer it.

“No fish again?”

“What?” Sendoh said loudly. The engine was loud

“No fish again.” Rukawa raised his voice and pointed at the bucket.

“Oh” Sendoh chuckled “actually I did catch a bass, but I released it because I didn’t know what I’d do with it and this isn’t a camping trip. Took a photo though, so you’ll see I’m not lying when I get it developed!” He said with a silly smile.

“I hope it doesn’t look like a UFO sighting.” Rukawa said loudly, over the sound of the motor Sendoh had just started. Sendoh cackled.

“You made a joke! I love that! I’m not lying, though, you’ll see!” He promised, steering the boat back to the shore.

* * *

Kyoto, the old capital city, was famous for all its historic buildings and amazing places to visit such as the Kinkaku-ji (the Golden Pavillion), the Kiyomizu-dera, a beautiful ancient temple with lovely greenery all around, the stunning Nijo Castle and the cult place Fushimi-Inari Shrine. The Imperial Palace and the Katsura Imperial Village were also beautiful pieces of Japanese history. It really was a city worth visiting and with the green-light to do what he wanted, Sendoh was all about sightseeing with Rukawa the following day but that night they’d just chill out.

Rukawa still felt pretty sleepy despite having had a long nap. The water wore you down, really. Sendoh felt the same but he was actually up for going out at night after they’d had dinner.

“Are you up for having dinner at an Izakaya?” Sendoh suggested. Rukawa was more than up for it.

“Yes.”

So, they did and stuffed their faces with food again, not talking much over the food but complimenting it at the end before driving to a ryokan that was on a travel guide they picked up at the Izakaya called Yuzuya. Rukawa was shocked when he saw the price.

“Are you sure about paying all this?”

“Yep.” Sendoh said nonchalantly as he signed the check in book and handed it over to the receptionist who handed him a key “Let’s go drop our things off and go out.”

“Go out?” Rukawa frowned and Sendoh smiled.

“Absolutely. Not like, a bar or whatever. I don’t want that. But Kyoto at night is amazing and I just want to sit down somewhere quiet, have some drinks and” he shrugged “just enjoy the cool of the night after a hot day.”

Rukawa actually liked the sound of that so he wasn’t at all against it.

The sun had mostly set by the time they left the ryokan as it was past 8pm but Rukawa didn’t complain. It sounded like a good plan, really. He didn’t feel like going out to crowded places so drinking somewhere sounded good even though he was still legally not allowed to. He was 17 though, what difference did it make?

Sendoh bought them a couple beers and sodas at a convenience store and some sweet snacks and they headed over to the Kamogawa riverside. It was quiet and relaxing alright. There were more people around, mostly young people, also chilling out with friends. Some buskers playing soft songs and the warmly lit atmosphere with the night lights reflecting on the water was just inviting.

They drank and snacked quite a bit and chatted about basketball players and things they wanted to do after graduating, something that would be happening soon for Sendoh but was a year away for Rukawa. It was nice to realise that while they had some plans neither was completely certain about them. One thing was certain though, they wanted to keep playing basketball and make a living out of it. While they were not sober by the time they left, they were also not at all drunk with just a couple beers each. Neither was a lightweight, it seemed.

Rukawa decided to have a shower too that night as did Sendoh, who always showered at night unlike Rukawa (who would be showering for the second time that day, like a weirdo). Sendoh might have had a point about it, since you wouldn’t be going to bed with the dirt of the day stuck to your body.

Sendoh went first and took a bit because washing off the dried-up hair gel and spray off his hair, conditioning and thoroughly washing took a bit. Rukawa took about 5 minutes and was done with it. Rukawa slept in a t-shirt but Sendoh slept in his underwear and Rukawa wasn’t sure if it was the lightly buzzed state he was in, but he noticed Sendoh.

As in, _really noticed_ him.

It was as if he was seeing him for the first time and that made his heartrate increase again but he didn’t say a thing and plopped on his futon with a small frown. Why was he so interested in looking at Sendoh?

Sendoh propped himself up on one elbow to look at him with a little half-lidded smile that shone on flushed cheeks. Rukawa’s own cheeks were oddly warm, likely because of the alcohol and he couldn’t get his eyes off Sendoh and his chest and his face and his long hair and before he knew it, he was feeling something he didn’t remember feeling about anyone ever.

_Attraction._

And he didn’t know what to make of it, so he made nothing of it. If he felt attracted to Sendoh, then he did and that was that. The thing was that it wasn’t just a physical thing, but at that moment he didn’t think too much about it.

Sendoh was also buzzed in the warmth of the bedroom and his own flushed body, how much he wanted to touch Rukawa and how dangerous that was. But he was relaxed and confident at that moment and Rukawa had been staring at him with dark, half-lidded eyes for well over a minute, so he risked it all.

Before he could stop himself, he’d gotten off his futon and dragged himself over to Rukawa’s, which was lying parallel to his. Rukawa didn’t move with the proximity and when Sendoh put one arm on each side of his head, he rolled to his back, with his arms thrown back, over his pillow and looked up at him, his mussed, still slightly damp hair pulled back and showing his whole face. It was warm between them. He looked up at Sendoh, shiny and flushed and so inviting. It was a completely new yet completely welcome feeling.

“What are you doing?” He asked, staring, in a low voice.

“Probably something I’ll regret.” Sendoh replied, quietly, smiling a little. Rukawa licked his lips and looked at Sendoh’s.

“Do you want to kiss me?” Rukawa asked, bluntly and Sendoh’s stomach fluttered and clenched and his heart raced. He didn’t respond immediately and they stared at each other for a full, very tense minute.

“Would you let me?” He asked at last, scared beyond all reason. Rukawa looked at him in silence with a deep frown for a painful second before his expression softened.

“Yes.” Was Rukawa’s simple answer and it blew Sendoh’s mind away.

How and when and what?

The short-circuit was real but his desire to kiss Rukawa was overwhelming so he leant over and saw him close his eyes which was honestly so beautiful and sweet he couldn’t bear it. Yet he kissed him gently and warmly on the lips, feeling the warmth on the sensitive skin of his lips pressing against Rukawa’s slightly chapped ones. The warmth that washed over them was like that of the first warm evening after a long, freezing winter.

Rukawa’s heart felt like it wanted to come out of his chest. That was his first kiss and he it was mind-blowing how such a simple touch could make his whole body feel like it was on fire. He wasn’t sure what to do and Sendoh realised, not without a small pang, that it was his first kiss, so he guided him by parting his lips a bit and leaning over onto his forearm to touch his face and tilt up his jaw to properly kiss him. Rukawa let him do whatever he wanted as his body got warmer and warmer. He placed a hand on Sendoh’s neck and caressed it lightly, not really knowing what or why he was doing it. It felt right to do it and Sendoh clearly liked it as he kept kissing him on the lips, gently, slowly, carefully. He then slipped him a bit of tongue and he gasped a little feeling it touch his ever so slightly and linger for a moment before he focused on the lips again. He’d always thought that people got breathless from kissing, but he wasn’t getting breathless, he felt like his body was on fire, but he was not breathless, even though his breathing was getting heavier as was Sendoh’s. Then Sendoh broke the contact and looked at him in the eyes, his eyes were dark and oddly alluring and he looked like he didn’t believe what had just happened. Rukawa kind of didn’t either.

“You let me kiss you.” He whispered softly.

“I don’t regret it.” Rukawa said back, quietly, a little awkwardly but not breaking eye-contact.

“Did you like it?”

Rukawa didn’t react immediately but finally nodded.

“Me too.” Sendoh sighed “Can I use your shoulder as a pillow?” He smiled a little, unsure, and Rukawa parted his lips before nodding again. Sendoh did that and lied beside him, leaning his still a little damp hair on his shoulder and just putting his arm around his chest. Rukawa didn’t know what to make of that but the only thing he could do was hold Sendoh back, so he did. Sendoh cuddled further onto him “I hope you don’t regret it in the morning.”

“I won’t, moron.” Rukawa promised and realised that he’d never slept with anyone at all in any way, especially not someone who was pressing a half-boner against his leg. He found that he didn’t mind it, especially because he had one himself. It was easy to cope with it though, since he was kind of buzzed from the alcohol and could just ignore it.

* * *


	4. Day 3 – Kyoto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The previous day gave them a lot to think about and Sendoh just wants to sightsee with Rukawa because he's accepted that he's gone in the best way possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one. Kind of an interlude.

* * *

They woke up in the same futon that they’d fallen asleep in but the positions had shifted and Rukawa was then cuddled up against Sendoh’s side and of course both remembered what had happened the previous night. They weren’t even hungover. They didn’t really mention it though and it felt like nothing at all had changed. The mood had shifted though and Sendoh didn’t know how to address it, so he didn’t. He was pretty sure of what he felt for Rukawa now, but he wasn’t sure if Rukawa was, too, so he’d let him be the leader of that. He was Tokugawa Ieyasu, as Rukawa himself had pointed out. He had a lot of patience, especially for important things.

They brushed their teeth and went down to have breakfast before checking out and heading over to Sendoh’s Toyota Corolla.

“I want to visit the city with you.” Sendoh said with a smile he didn’t bother pretending he didn’t have all sorts of feelings for him. They’d kissed the previous night, for fuck’s sake, and he couldn’t stop thinking about how right it’d felt, how much he’d liked it, how much more he wanted. Rukawa didn’t pretend that wasn’t something he didn’t want to do, either.

“Let’s go, then.”

So they did. They visited all the attractions they could, not caring about spending the entire day there instead of driving to their destination. Sendoh had made it clear that he’d wanted to be with Rukawa on that trip and sure enough, he also wanted to fish, but it was obvious that Rukawa was the most important part of that trip.

Which was still overwhelming to Rukawa, who was absolutely not used to being anyone’s priority in that sense and to be quite frank, he was overwhelmed in many ways. Sightseeing around Kyoto, seeing all those beautiful ancient buildings did help clear his mind but Sendoh’s company was a reminder of his newfound emotions and of what they’d been up to the previous night. Sendoh was the same as always, talking about the places they were seeing and reading about them on his guide, taking pictures of everything they saw, pictures of Rukawa (who was still not a fan of having his picture taken), blind pictures of them together, having Rukawa take his pictures (something he really didn’t mind doing) and he was just overall being himself. Rukawa noticed, however, that his soft smiles suddenly seemed to be filled with a different meaning and it was a bit overwhelming. In the afternoon, after lunch and a stroll around the stunning Golden Pavilion, they sat at an ice cream parlour under a bright yellow parasol and Sendoh removed his hat as did Rukawa. That day had been just as hot as the previous one and they were both sweating a lot. Sendoh hadn’t bothered gelling his hair that day, knowing he’d be wearing a hat, so it was down and it made him look different. He’d just tied it back in a tiny ponytail. Rukawa didn’t really know how to feel about it. The way his fringe parted in the middle and framed his cheeks and the loose strands coming off his tiny ponytail made him feel some type of way.

While he’d managed to keep the kisses off his mind the whole day, now that they were just out there, sitting and eating ice cream it was all coming back especially because he couldn’t get his eyes off Sendoh’s lips and his hands and his eyes on him. It was awkward, and, for the first time, he felt like a dunce for having no words to say to him when there was so much on his mind.

“D’you like it?” Sendoh finally asked. They actually gotten the same flavour – minty chocolate.

“Yes.”

“You sure? You’re frowning quite a bit.” Sendoh pointed out with a small smile and Rukawa huffed before shaking his head lightly.

“Don’t make me say anything because I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Oh.” Sendoh chuckled.

“Yeah.”

“I wasn’t going to make you do anything, really. I’m just checking on you.” Sendoh clarified, honestly and Rukawa stared for a moment, biting into his ice cream. Tokugawa-style, uh?

“I still don’t regret anything.” He said simply “And that’s all I have to say about it.”

Sendoh smiled, a smile that reached his eyes.

“I’m glad.” He said and then fell silent again, enjoying his ice cream.

* * *

They ended up going back to the same ryokan and spending yet another night in Kyoto. They’d been told by one of the employees at the restaurant they’d had lunch about the Kyoto Gozan Okuribi would be happening that very night and how lucky they were to happen to be there to enjoy it because that was the festival that represented Kyoto and it lasted for a single day, always the 16th of August. It wasn’t the kind of festival you go to and there are shooting booths and candy apples and all that sort of entertainment; it was a religious rite and the last of the Obon festivals and it was believed that on that night, the dead that had come to visit their living relatives over the summer would go back to the land of the dead, so the festival was a way to respectfully send them off. Five large bonfires with five kanji were lit across several mountains. That was meant to be a moment of silent self-reflection and prayer for life and death. You had to move around to see all the bonfires and have the full experience and while the bonfires were lit, the lights in the city would be turned off out of respect. The man had told them to head over to Mt. Funaoka where they’d be able to see most of the bonfires, except for the one spelling Toriigata (the floating shrine) and Sendoh had told him it was fine, because they’d actually seen it the previous day so they wouldn’t be too sad about missing it.

Once again, they put on yukatas and that time Rukawa didn’t complain. Sendoh brought along a couple of sakazuki and a bottle of sake because the employee had also told them about a belief that if you drank sake that had reflected the fires, you’d be protected against illnesses. Sendoh, being all about that life, had gone along with it and Rukawa had been dragged to his pace again and engaging in more underage drinking.

Surprisingly, not many people were on Mt Funaoka, save for a couple locals and it was clear that most visitors wanted to go around seeing all the bonfires, Sendoh and Rukawa had just gotten lucky with a particularly friendly local with a lovely Kansai accent.

They sat on a spot where you could indeed see everything and the atmosphere was breathtaking, really. As soon as the fires were lit everything else went pitch black and Sendoh poured sake for both of them, had the fire reflect on the liquid, and then smiled at Rukawa, seeing the eerie orange glow on his face and making a toast that was returned in silence as the festival demanded.

Being there, in silence, watching all those fires and feeling the powerful beliefs all around in the dimly lit atmosphere turned out to be exactly what they both needed. Rukawa wasn’t drunk but having all that time of absolute silence to think, he realised that he didn’t care that he liked Sendoh in that sort of way, it didn’t matter that he was another man. He did know it wasn’t at all accepted in their country, but it didn’t mean it didn’t happen or better yet, that it _couldn’t_ happen. He didn’t know why Sendoh liked him that way but now he knew why he liked him. On that moment, it felt like the simplest thing in the world.

He could be unapologetically himself with Sendoh and he could tell it was the same for Sendoh but he feared that his odd communication habits would eventually wear him down. He pushed that looming worry to the back of his mind for the time being. Overthinking didn’t do any good.

They did nothing aside from enjoying the power of the sight, the atmosphere and each other’s company.

* * *


	5. Day 4 – Kyoto → Osaka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An incident happens that leads Rukawa into realising, in the worst possible way, that he has feelings too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has graphic descriptions of violence. It's all canon typical but you should be warned anyway.
> 
> Beware of a homophobic slur.
> 
> Rukawa is protective and Sendoh is an idiot.

* * *

It was obvious that something had changed between them after that kiss but what mattered stayed the same and the changes were all welcome, in Sendoh’s very whipped opinion. He would wait for whatever Rukawa decided to do about the new stuff in their relationship. They had plenty of time in the summer break to do whatever they wanted and take a bunch of detours to places they wanted to see. Sendoh wanted to go to Okinawa and more importantly, he wanted to go there with Rukawa, fish, enjoy the beach, the sea and the company.

Rukawa had said he didn’t regret kissing him and that was more than enough to inspire him to wait for his decision. More than that, the following day, after a good night’s sleep, on the road he noticed how Rukawa’s mood had shifted from completely aloof to partially aloof and stealing occasional glances. Rukawa's glances were sometimes caught and prompted a rush of joy from Sendoh’s heart. He still didn’t talk a lot and he napped quite a bit but he let him know that it was fine to wake him up and Sendoh felt like that was his way of telling him he liked him enough to allow that offense.

“Ah, it’s so hot…” Sendoh complained a little, and stared at his wristwatch which was making his wrist sweat a lot. He got it off and chucked it in the glovebox before rubbing his sore wrist while steering with his knees for a bit. Dangerous for sure but nothing bad happened so it was fine.

They were headed for Osaka, which felt like a must-stop, if anything for the chance to see some of the local basketball teams play and maybe play a little as well. He was itching to play basketball with Rukawa. Maybe they could join some casual playing over there, who knew? He was very keen on that and though he had permission to wake Rukawa up, he didn’t want to.

The weather was bright and hot and they were once again sweaty and flushed but that didn’t really stop Sendoh from wanting to play and he knew that Rukawa would also be up for that.

Rukawa woke up sometime around 3pm just as they were entering Osaka.

“We’re in Osaka.” He mumbled sleepily, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand before grabbing one of their water bottles and taking a good swig of it.

“Pass it here, please.” Sendoh asked “Thanks.” He said before taking a good swig himself and passing it back. Rukawa capped it and put it away “Yeah, we’re here. I was thinking that we could go check the local basketball teams and maybe play a bit.”

Rukawa was quiet for a moment, thinking about how he could express how much he wanted that without sounding stupid.

“I want that.”

“Cool.” Sendoh smiled “Let’s check around then.”

They just headed over to the tourist information office and asked. Turned out that there were no actual matches happening around but there were definitely people training in a nearby gym. While Osaka, being a big city, did have a lot to see, they were kind of more into playing some ball. Sendoh had once again not done his hair because he was wearing a hat and Rukawa was yet to get used to it.

It didn’t bother him for too long though, because as soon as they were allowed in the gym to watch the professional team’s practice, everything else vanished. That was some next level playing, they noticed and made mental notes about things they could try and things they could improve on. They really wanted to play as well though and of course they wouldn’t be allowed in there so, after about an hour of heated commentary and jealousy they left to go look for some casual players on the courts the tourist office lady had told them about.

“We should get a ball.” Rukawa said as they were walking out of the stands in the gym they’d just been, well, _studying,_ other players techniques.

“We definitely should.” Sendoh agreed with a snort “I can’t believe I didn’t think of bringing one along.”

“I’ll buy it.” Rukawa stated and Sendoh was visibly surprised “You’ve been paying for everything.”

“I said I would.” Sendoh reminded him.

“I know. I’ll buy the ball anyway.” He declared and Sendoh threw his hands up in surrender. He wasn’t going to argue with that pigheaded man, that was for sure. Sendoh put his wallet in the glovebox. Finding a sports apparel store wasn’t that hard, given that Osaka was a big urban city so they ended up getting one of the fancy balls because Rukawa wouldn’t settle for some piece of cheap shit.

Getting their own ball had been the right decision because all the players they found in the public courts were children and they didn’t want to play with small children. While that could motivate the kids, and probably would have, they wanted to play for real and not have to hold back so they drove around for a while checking for an empty court until they found it.

Nothing had really changed basketball wise and that was clear from the moment they stepped foot on the court, stretched and started playing one-on-one as they’d been doing for well over a year. They played relentlessly for about an hour, took a fifteen-minute break and went in for some 40 minutes more before ending up tied and calling it a day. Sendoh was happy with the outcome and Rukawa felt good and ready to have a good dinner and sleep.

It was close to 8pm when bad shit happened to ruin their otherwise brilliant day.

Rukawa was quite street-smart so when he noticed the three guys lurking around the court and looking at them, he knew it meant trouble. He also knew that running out of there was a bad idea in case they were armed. Probably with knives, judging by the look of them, they wouldn’t be carrying illegal firearms, but knives were still not good news.

“Sendoh” he called quietly not looked at the thugs, Sendoh looked puzzled at him. Fuck, Rukawa felt his heart race, fearing for Sendoh’s safety “please, whatever you do, don’t react. Now get up.”

“Wha-“ Sendoh started but didn’t have time to finish as the thieves had finally come closer. Rukawa got on his feet and Sendoh looked up at them from the floor, a little confused before standing up.

“Anything you need?” He asked, like a goddamn idiot. Rukawa mentally smacked him.

The three thugs were considerably shorter than they were but just as Rukawa had predicted, two of them had knives. The third one looked anxious and Rukawa felt like it was first time doing something like that, since he was also clearly the youngest of them. The kid was maybe 14. The other would be around their own age, maybe a little older but not by much.

One of the knife-carriers scoffed.

“Yeah, your wallet and your watch.” He demanded.

“Those shoes seem expensive too. Get them off, rich boy.” The other said, shaking the knife in front of him.

Now, one thing Rukawa had learnt from all the time he’d spent alone in the streets was that someone shaking a knife in front of a stranger isn’t planning to use it but it was still a dangerous object and they could use it accidentally if threatened. Sendoh clearly didn’t know that and also didn’t know the meaning of ‘don’t react’. Either that, or he was a complete idiot with no sense of self-preservation.

“Oh, you’re thieves!” Sendoh snorted, not looking particularly scared “I’m sorry to tell you that I don’t have my wallet on me, though.”

Rukawa wanted to punch him for real before he realised that he wasn’t lying. Since Rukawa had paid for the ball, Sendoh probably had left his wallet in the glovebox of the car.

“You’re a lying fag! Do you want to get fucking stabbed!?” One of them yelled. Rukawa clenched his fists, feeling his blood boil and the anger mount.

“I’m not lying.” Sendoh insisted and turned his pockets inside out “See? Nothing here.”

“Your fucking watch then!”

“Are you blind?” Sendoh chuckled and showed him his empty wrists. Rukawa hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t wearing his expensive wristwatch either. What the fuck? Why and when had he gotten rid of it?

“You’re pushing it, faggot! Gimme those shoes then!” The thief shouted and the other had been eyeing Rukawa for a while without saying anything. Rukawa wasn’t going to react really but Sendoh was seriously pushing it.

“I’m not going to give you my shoes, little man.” He said with a snort and a small condescending smile “They won’t fit you.”

The thief got beet red at being called little man and Rukawa mentally facepalmed, absolutely on edge. Of course he wasn’t planning on using them. They were expensive, the guy wanted to fucking sell them!

And it all happened very fast. One moment the thug had gotten angry the next he charged at Sendoh and swung the knife in his direction. Rukawa felt his heart stop beating for a split second as he widened his eyes in horror, seeing the knife connect with Sendoh’s side as he reflexively stepped to the side. He saw the knife cut into Sendoh’s side, piercing through his shirt.

Rukawa saw red.

The next moment he’d kicked the knife out of the guy’s hand and punched him the face before charging at the other one and pressing both his palms flat against the flat sides of the blade and twisting it out of his hands making him drop it without hurting himself in the process by pure luck. The thugs were unarmed and scared now but Rukawa wasn’t thinking rationally. The burning rage made him charge at them once again. He headbutted the guy who’d attacked Sendoh in the nose and it immediately cracked and stared gushing out blood. The guy screamed in agony before Rukawa grabbed him by the collar of his t-shirt and kneed his spleen making him gasp for air and drop to his knees panting. The other guy had done nothing, really but Rukawa wasn’t done yet. In front of the kid’s horrified eyes, he punched him square in the jaw before kicking him in the stomach with the sole of his shoe.

Sendoh had frozen in place watching Rukawa go on a blind rampage. When he saw him charge for the guy who was bleeding heavily from the nose he snapped back into reality and stepped towards Rukawa to hold him back.

“Stop that! He’s already, you’ll kill him like that! Let’s just… let’s get out of here!” Rukawa struggled to free himself, gritting his teeth but Sendoh’s horrified voice made him snap back to reason enough to stop. He stopped struggling and looked at the terrified kid who had stood there in shock “This is, these guys are bad.” Sendoh said to him, seriously “Get out of here, call an ambulance and don’t hang out with these kinds of people anymore.”

Rukawa stared at the kid who seemed on the verge of tears and what he saw was a lost kid, with no goals. He got away from Sendoh in silence and walked over the ball he’d bought earlier and grabbed it.

He threw it at the kid, who yelped but caught it. A nice start.

“Keep that and learn how to play basketball.” He said a bit aggressively, the kid stared at him, crying still “You’ll find good people through the game.” He turned around and walked off “Let’s go.”

“Okay.” Sendoh agreed and looked at the kid one last time, giving him a small smile and a thumbs up “Practice hard!”

The kid watched them walk away, clutching the ball but it was clear that he took their words to heart because he ran away and some 10 minutes later an ambulance and the police showed up. Sendoh and Rukawa were already in the car when that happened.

Rukawa had been staring at the cut on Sendoh’s shirt and noticed that there was no blood there.

“Did it cut you?” He asked and Sendoh pulled his shirt up to show him absolutely nothing on his side. The blade had just cut his shirt, not his skin. Rukawa felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders but the anger returned “I told you not to react and you did, moron.”

Sendoh looked at him, surprised.

“I don’t think I understood what you meant.”

“Of fucking course you didn’t. Not reacting means not taunting and doing as the guys with the weapons say!” He raised his voice and clenched his fists before breathing heavily through his nose. Sendoh wasn’t sure what to make of it and fell silent for a moment, watching the sunset through the windscreen.

“I couldn’t do as they said though, my things were here.”

“You taunted them, you absolute moron!” Rukawa snapped. Sendoh blinked “You taunted them and you have as much fighting experience as the kid who was with them! I…” he huffed and clenched his jaw, closing his eyes not wanting to finish the sentence. He knew why he’d lost his mind to anger. He feared for Sendoh’s life and the thought of something bad happening to him had made him go berserk.

He was going crazy.

“I’m sorry.” Sendoh said quietly after yet another moment of silence “I, um, I don’t know what else to say. I’m pretty stupid and” he snorted “sheltered I guess, I didn’t think about the consequences of…”

“You’re not sheltered, you’re just an idiot.” Rukawa cut him off “You and your, your habit of making a joke out of everything. That’s, I don’t…” he was struggling with all those words. He didn’t remember ever having said so many words at once “it’s not a bad thing.” He huffed and looked at him “Just don’t do it when someone has a weapon pointed at you ever again.”

The ‘please’ that he wanted to say was implied in the look he gave him that just rendered Sendoh completely speechless. Rukawa had lost it because of him. Rukawa had said all those words because of him, to protect him. _Fuck._

“I won’t. I promise.” Sendoh finally said “I’m not sure how to make it up to you.”

“Don’t get in trouble again. That’ll do. Now let’s get out of here. I want to sleep.” Rukawa said and he had reverted back to his pointed, matter-of-fact tone. Sendoh silently agreed and started the car before driving to the hotel they’d be sleeping at, which was actually a five-star western style hotel.

They got a bedroom with two beds, and it was pretty obvious that they missed the Japanese style bedrooms even though that one was definitely fancier. They even had access to a laundry service, something they’d taken advantage of to clean their dirty clothes which would be returned the following morning. Sendoh showered first and Rukawa went next. When Rukawa came out in his sleeping wear he found Sendoh sitting in his underwear on one of the balcony’s chairs. The night was hot, still so it wasn’t like he was risking a cold. He was sipping on some soda and looking into the city’s night skyline. Rukawa hesitated a bit before getting his own soda from the mini-bar and joining him. Sendoh looked up a little surprised but then risked a small smile that Rukawa didn’t return because he just wasn’t a smiler. He sat down on the other chair instead, which was as close as it’d get to a smile.

“I bet you’re regretting it now.” Sendoh said quietly after a moment of silence as they sipped on their sodas. Rukawa didn’t understand what he meant and glanced at him, confused.

Regretting what?

Then it hit him and choked a little on his soda. Yep, still embarrassing. Sendoh chuckled mirthlessly and sipped on his soda.

“It’s fine.” He continued “I don’t really blame you. I really made a fool of myself out there.”

Rukawa stared at him, getting rather annoyed by his stupid tone and his stupid assumptions and the stupid shit he was saying after he’d made it clear that he understood why he’d acted in such a reckless way.

“You’re stupid.”

Sendoh chortled and nodded, taking another sip of his soda.

“I know.”

“No, you’re really stupid.” Rukawa said, not hiding his aggravation “I already knew you were like this before.”

Sendoh looked at him in silence, not sure what to say and quite surprised at how much he was talking.

Rukawa wasn’t used to the sound of his own voice saying all those words either. He looked away, and took a big swig of his own soda, wondering why speaking that much didn’t bother him at that moment. Maybe it was because it was this guy or maybe there were certain things that just had to be said since you couldn’t make them clear any other way. Maybe that was what was surprising.

He fell silent too, thinking back on his life.

Since he was a kid, he’d never been talkative. He only spoke when it was a necessity, when he needed something or wanted something to be done. At school he was either in silence or pushing people away. At home that had never been a problem because his parents were always silently working until they eventually split in a peaceful manner, without many words, explaining to him simply that he’d be living with his father and would only see his mother during school holidays.

One thing from that moment of his life stuck to him though. His father had commented offhandedly that they hadn’t done that earlier because of him. He didn’t understand it at the time (he was only 8) but later on he learnt about unhappy couples who split and got mad that they’d let themselves be unhappy because of him. It made no sense to him.

It was fine, really, them splitting. The difference was minimal. Basketball and basketball players had been what had brought him up. He’d gotten interested in basketball at the age of 9 and since then had dedicated his time and thoughts to practicing and becoming the best. It was good that he had potential and lots of pent up anger inside him to spend on the court. The fact that he was a loner was a hindrance though, because that was a team sport, and he needed a team to win a match. Shohoku had taught him the value of teamwork and Akagi’s constant scolding had worked wonders to make him the team player he was meant to be.

Maybe it’d been the way he’d been brought up or maybe it was just his personality that made him such a quiet person who didn’t like to interact. He’d never been to a shrink even though some of his teachers along the way recommended it. Since he didn’t seem to have intellectual problems (as seen by the IQ test his teachers made him take, in which he actually scored above average) his parents never agreed with it. He just didn’t like studying or socialising.

The truth was though that his no-nonsense attitude and his detachment from other people had made him fail to understand certain things about himself, such as his sexuality. It was true that he’d never felt a particularly strong sexual urge and although he had explored a bit, he didn’t know what he liked. Thinking about it now, sitting on that balcony with a practically naked Sendoh Akira, a man for whom he’d realised he had feelings that were more than just a relationship based on a mutual love for basketball and a similar amount of skill, he was beginning to think he might like men. It was whatever, really. Again, he didn’t care about that sort of thing. If he liked men, then he did. The thing was that he’d never felt attracted to anyone else before. It was weird but a little thought made him realise that sure, he was attracted to men in general, but he was attracted to Sendoh in particular because he actually liked him as a person.

And that was terrifying.

His hand clutched the can of soda a little too hard and he gulped. Why was it so scary to like Sendoh? Maybe it wasn’t about Sendoh, though…

“Everything alright?” Sendoh finally caved and asked, worried, seeing him get pale and shake. Rukawa snapped out of his unblinking daze and looked him “Hey…” He reached his hand to him and saw him get away from the touch which made him immediately retract his hand and broke him a little “um… I’m sorry, I won’t touch you.”

Rukawa stared at him, unsure, his hand was still holding the now almost empty can a little too hard. Why did Sendoh look so hurt? Rukawa’s brain was short-circuiting with things he didn’t understand and he hated it. Why did he feel so scared and lost? He didn’t know what to say so he said nothing and instead got up and went back into the room where he got in his assigned bed and lied there motionless, trying to calm the fuck down.

Sendoh snorted before getting up and walking back in as well. He walked over to the can Rukawa had left on the nightstand between the beds and binned both before lying in his own bed as well. The thought that Rukawa might be a simple guy seemed so far away and ludicrous that he wanted to laugh as much as he wanted to vanish into thin air.

The following day would be amazing, he could tell.

* * *


	6. Day 5 – Osaka → Cape Sata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heavy day of silence with almost no stops save for the necessary ones. Lots of thinking ensue and fate has something to say. Rukawa decides that he'll be the master of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is sex in this chapter. It's descriptive but light and not extremely graphic. If you don't want to read that, just skip when it's implied that it'll happen. 
> 
> It's mostly fluffy and sweet and gentle though. Also safe. 
> 
> They start going for first names here and it's a huge deal, especially for Rukawa.

* * *

Sendoh had been right to think that Rukawa wouldn’t say a word and would be distant the following day because that’s exactly what he did. It was odd though. He didn’t seem angry with him, he didn’t feel anger, or disgust (which was what he was the most scared of) in his behaviour.

It felt like Rukawa was scared of something. _Terrified,_ really. He didn’t even play the cassette tapes and let the radio play the pop songs he so hated without so much as expressing annoyance. Sendoh couldn’t pinpoint what exactly could be causing that fear. In any case, he did everything he could to avoid touching him and didn’t try to talk to him. If he wanted to talk, he would and so he’d wait for him to do so. If the disaster that the previous evening had been had any up sides, it was that now Sendoh knew that Rukawa cared about him and did speak up when he wanted to make something clear. He could tell that Rukawa had also slept like shit, despite the fancy bedding because they had similar dark circles under their eyes.

The weather wasn’t giving in yet and the sun was as scorching as it had been since the beginning of the trip. The radio had announced that it was a heatwave (Sendoh realised he hadn’t heard or read the news in a couple days) and would only let Japan breathe the following week.

Sendoh hadn’t slept but he’d stocked on energy drinks and had drank coffee in the morning so he’d be fine driving for hours. It was 10am when they left Osaka and Sendoh had already traced the route on his massive map so there wasn’t really anything he could do but follow it. The trip had been planned around the fact that he wanted to be near the sea, so his route was longer than it needed to be. Which was initially great because he’d get to spend time with Rukawa in a comfortable silence he’d grown to love but was now horrible because he had to spend time with Rukawa in uncomfortable silence, which nobody liked.

He drove for about 4 hours, nonstop all the way down to Fukuyama, in Hiroshima without really paying attention to much except the road and the driving. When he allowed himself to notice his surroundings again it was because traffic had stopped. There were people speaking on the radio and he finally listened.

A man called Yamamoto Hiroshi had been discussing something with a man called Hamada Takeru and their voices droned on and on for over half an hour all the way down to the Ashida river side. Sendoh only realised they were discussing something called self-parenting when he heard the man called Hamada Takeru say very sternly yet very politely:

“You cannot expect children who grow up with parents who do not provide emotional support or proper guidance to turn out completely fine, Mrs Kamiya.” the man called Yamamoto Hiroshi agreed, it seemed like they’d been reading letters too “You are lying to yourself. Your letter is contradictory in every way, you say your child is fine yet she is at home all the time and doesn’t have any friends. How is that being fine, Mrs Kamiya?” He scolded and Sendoh blinked. This man was going for the throat. “If the child does not have proper adult guidance and their only role model are people on TV and other adults with whom they do not have direct contact with, the child will have serious interpersonal problems. They will have a greater tendency to grow detached from others and will have something that we psychologists call attachment issues. We just discussed them.”

“We did” Yamamoto said and Sendoh was listening now because there was a traffic jam by the river and they weren’t moving. Rukawa was silently staring over the dashboard into the line of cars glowing hot in the sun “the child with attachment issues will have trouble forming bonds with others for fear of being abandoned. It’s a form of trauma and it’s been documented by psychologists in recent years. It can be severe or light but in general the child may not grow up to be a fully functional member of society and may fall into antisocial behaviours such as becoming a criminal. Your child may not be a criminal, but you pointed out yourself that she will not have romantic relationships even though she is 25. That is because she doesn’t want to be abandoned, she doesn’t want to fall in love and then be hurt.”

“And that’s entirely on you, Mrs Kamiya.” Hamada said, sternly “You and your husband failed to provide your child with proper guidance and now she has become an adult who is depressed and cannot form bonds with others. It’s not too late to help her and have her see a psychologist. If you accept your mistakes, you can still save your child from a life of sadness.”

Sendoh thought it was interesting. He wondered if it could apply to him but figured it didn’t, because although he didn’t have a relationship with his father (he provided for him and that was it) he did have one with his mum and she’d always worried about him. His parents were still married, also so she’d always tried to explain that he worked a lot to provide them with money which was cool and all. He just resented the fact that he didn’t have a dad like his friends did. However, he had a granddad which, he felt, was very much the same. His granddad was his mum’s dad and he was the one who taught him how to ride a bike and took him on fishing trips, passing his love of fishing to him and teaching him all about it and the power of being patient and waiting. Fishing was the best way to be alone and think, because you’re doing nothing while doing something at the same time. His granddad had passed away when he was 14, just four years before, and the wound was still there but he was keeping him alive in memory and he was thankful that he did have a dad after all, even if it was only for 14 years.

He sighed deeply, remembering that Rukawa had been quiet for almost 4 hours and it was already lunch time. That’s when he noticed that his eyes were glossy, and his jaw and fists were clenched.

The radio programme had ended, and music had started playing. Sendoh worried that he might have gotten angry, but it didn’t feel like it. The traffic jam didn’t show signs of getting solved and some people were already poking their heads out of their cars to try and see what was causing it. It was uncomfortable to say the least to stay inside a metal box under that smouldering sun.

“Fuck…” was the first huffed word that left Sendoh’s mouth in all those hours. It came out raspy as words do when you don’t use your voice for a long time. He smacked the steering wheel in frustration before brushing his fringe off his sweaty face.

(See? Spikes aren’t just stylish, they’re also convenient.)

He got rid of the elastic band he’d been using to make a small ponytail and brushed his hair back with his fingers before trying to tie it all up as he’d been trying to do all along but the back was just longer than the front like a mullet but not that dramatic because the front was also quite long, just not long enough to reach all the way to the back of his head.

Rukawa had finally stopped looking ahead, seemingly having snapped out of his daze by Sendoh’s voice and was now looking of his window.

“Hey” Sendoh tried quietly “sushi for lunch?”

Rukawa hesitated before nodding. Sendoh took that as good thing. At least he was listening to him.

The jam was solved about half an hour later and it turned out that a car had broken down in the middle of the street and while there had been no property damages the driver had had a minor heart attack and had to be brought back to life (because the ambulance took a while to arrive and the stress made it escalate to something more serious). They had to do it on the spot by the paramedics which had caused a lot of trouble. It seemed like the man had lived. The car had to be towed away which had also taken a long time.

So, they had sushi with a side of silence for lunch in a restaurant by the Ashida river. The river was lovely, but it didn’t feel like a nice spot for fishing, especially not in the mood he was in, so Sendoh didn’t even think about it. He just got in the car and Rukawa did the same. He drove over to the Hiroshima Memorial Park to pay their respects to the A-bomb victims. It was a place with a heavy atmosphere but Sendoh had already planned to do it ahead, knowing they’d be passing through Hiroshima. Rukawa seemed into it as much as he was. It was a sense of duty, a moment of introspection to think about the past. Rukawa stared at the cenotaph for a long time, they both did, but Rukawa didn’t blink. Then they prayed and did a full 90º bow before leaving.

Rukawa’s mood shifted after they’d paid their respects to the bomb’s victims and it felt like he was no longer afraid of whatever it was he was afraid of before. He didn’t bother putting in the cassette tapes, still, but that was a good sign in Sendoh’s eyes and the rest of the trip was overall exactly as Sendoh had wanted it to be – comfortable silence. He filled up the tank with fuel and drove for another five hours non-stop before stopping for a snack and to add more gas to the tank and kept going for another three hours, stopping in Sata to have dinner. Sendoh wanted to get to Cape Sata that day and he would, no matter what.

Rukawa didn’t comment when he walked back to the car and drove off in the night. It was past midnight when they finally got to Cape Sata, to the ryokan Sendoh had planned on staying at.

They were in luck because check in ended at 2am and they happened to get there at 1:03am, plenty of time ahead, Sendoh had jokingly said to the sleepy receptionist who smiled at his fake energy and gave them the key to their room, which was a room with two futons and an en-suite. They obviously showered because going to bed after a whole day of sweating like pigs was nasty as hell. All their clothes had been washed in the other hotel, so they didn’t have to worry about anything.

Sendoh went first again and Rukawa went next. He was at the balcony when Rukawa returned but the room didn’t have a mini bar so there was nothing for him to drink. He was in his underwear as usual but Rukawa had made up his mind.

He’d spent the whole day thinking and afraid until he heard that fateful radio programme which gave him all the answers he needed. Being a prideful person, he wouldn’t stand for it and let it hold him back. Sure, he was scared of being abandoned like the psychologists had said, but he was strong enough to work on becoming a better person. It was clear that Sendoh liked him too and he couldn’t thank him enough for not trying to talk to him that day because that had been the main reason he’d managed to think about everything and reason with himself, logically, as he always did. No-nonsense. That was what he wanted, and he would use his words, as well as acts and gestures to show him he liked him and didn’t regret his feelings.

He walked firmly onto the balcony and Sendoh looked back, surprised, seeing him walk towards him and stand beside him. Now, Rukawa was one of the best basketball players of his generation, but he sure was a complete amateur in feelings and confessing his feelings.

There was small hint of guilt at the back of his mind for having turned down all those girls’ confessions straight up and coldly, but he did know how it worked. Sort of.

He didn’t want to pull something cringeworthy like ‘senpai! Please accept my feelings!’ he would die before doing that even though Sendoh was actually his senpai.

He’d do it his own way.

“I have feelings for you.” He said, way too aggressively for a confession. Sendoh widened his eyes and stared at him and his deeply furrowed eyebrows, getting his hands off the railing where he’d been brooding “I thought a lot and it’s true that I have issues but I’m not a coward. I want to be with you and if that’s what you want as well, then we should be together.”

He put it so simply that it did sound that simple.

Sendoh felt his heart stop for a second before his stomach clenched and he felt an odd warmth pool in his chest. His brain worked fast to figure out what issues he meant and then it hit him: the radio programme. _Attachment issues._

And he only had one chance to say the right thing.

“You have no idea how much I want it” he said and a felt a smile bloom on his own face.

Rukawa opened his mouth but then pursed his lips.

“Don’t stay with me if that’s not what you want.” He declared, still a little too angry for someone who had just confessed his feelings.

Sendoh smiled and nodded.

“I already know that and back at you.” He said softly and sighed looking away and into the dimly lit seawater under the starry night sky over Cape Sata. He couldn’t believe it, really, it felt like he was dreaming.

“Look at me, moron.” Rukawa demanded and Sendoh obeyed only to be further convinced that he was dreaming when Rukawa held his face and pulled him in for a kiss on the mouth. A little clumsy, but what he didn’t have in skill, he had in energy. Sendoh put his hands on Rukawa’s waist under his t-shirt and pulled him closer before holding him around the waist properly to pull them flush against each other. Sendoh led the kiss from there and showed him what to do by giving him silent hints with his lips and tongue. Rukawa was a quick learner because they were fully making-out after a moment and it was genuinely the best Sendoh had ever had (not that he was crazy experienced but he had enough experience to know what ‘good’ was).

The best part about having a tiny height difference was being able to kiss and not have to bend over awkwardly. Sendoh noticed that as he angled the kiss to properly slip him tongue, which was dangerous he found, because his crotch area was getting a little too happy about that and Rukawa accidentally made a very suggestive surprised noise with his throat. Sendoh could feel that he wasn’t the only one with a growing problem.

Rukawa stared into his eyes when he pulled away from the kiss, yet still holding him in his arms and being held by him around the neck and with his hands on his hair.

“I want to do things to you.” Sendoh admitted, a little anxious, smiling a bit, holding his gaze.

“What kind of things?” Rukawa asked and the fact that he was legitimately confused was at once funny and cute. Sendoh smiled and pecked his lips again.

“You’re so cute” Rukawa made a face “I don’t mean it like that, you’re… ah, I mean sex, Rukawa.”

Rukawa’s face was already red but Sendoh watched with delight as it got redder and he frowned. Sendoh had to laugh a little because this guy had popped a half-boner as well and was looking like someone had just suggested going to church and not, you know, having sex as you’re supposed to do when you’re getting frisky with someone you like and they suggest, well, having sex.

He did have condoms on him (he always did, sex-ed was a thing and he wasn’t an irresponsible prick) but he didn’t have proper lube. From what he’d gathered, you needed lube for the kind of penetrative sex men have with one another and he wasn’t going to risk hurting Rukawa on his first time. Blowjobs required no preparation though and neither did handjobs, as long as you didn’t try to do it as if you’re gripping the gearshift of a car and used a bit of lotion, which he did have. Maybe the second choice, since they were both exhausted and sure enough a sloppy blowjob is still a blowjob but if they could be avoided, they should be.

“Oh…” Rukawa finally managed, embarrassed as hell but trying to keep it cool “It’ll be my first time.”

“It’ll be my first time with a man as well” Sendoh said with a smile, caressing the soft skin of Rukawa’s waist “We won’t do anything crazy. It’s late and we’re tired so it wouldn’t be good. We’d probably get hurt, too and I don’t want to hurt you.”

Rukawa looked at him feeling his face burn up but actually wanting to do that. He trusted Sendoh, he knew he meant it.

“I want it too.” He finally said, firmly and that was all Sendoh needed to kiss him on the lips again and drag them off that balcony and back into the room.

Now, the thing about not having western style beds was that the classic fall on the bed thing was out of the question; if you tried to pull that stunt on a futon you’d likely get hurt. So it had to be done gently, patiently. Sendoh had them sit on one of the futons and gently pushed Rukawa back making him lie on it.

One good thing about having sex on a futon was no headboard to hit your head on and no chance of falling off the bed. Sendoh was already mostly naked so he just had to help Rukawa out of his t-shirt. He left Rukawa lying there a bit after kissing him and saying he’d get his lotion. It was the soft, not-heavily scented kind, perfect for keeping your skin healthy. And for what he wanted to use it for at that moment.

“Sorry to make you wait, this is needed. Dry handjobs aren’t nice.” He said with a cheeky little smile and Rukawa’s flushed face looked adorable when he frowned, slightly annoyed.

“I know, idiot.” He muttered and pulled Sendoh in for another kiss which was more than welcome.

Sendoh was on cloud nine. Seeing Rukawa so close, being able to touch him like that, to feel his warmth and his touch. It was amazing and maybe he was exhausted (which he was, they both were) but it felt like a dream. Rukawa’s chest was beautiful from a distance but even better from up close, where you could see the definition of his muscles and the beauty of his skin, glowing in the dim light from outside and the candle on the corner. Rukawa’s vulnerability didn’t go unnoticed to either of them. Rukawa looked at Sendoh in the eyes and he returned his look, gently, carefully, smiling before kissing him softly on the lips.

“I’m honoured that you trust me and will make sure you don’t regret it, Rukawa Kaede.” He whispered and that was exactly what Rukawa needed to hear but didn’t know. Rukawa put both his hands on Sendoh’s hair again and caressed it, pulling him in for another kiss, a deeper one.

He found that he liked it when Sendoh called him by his given name. Unlike when people in his family used it, it felt like Sendoh cared about him as person and that was something he’d never felt before. He wanted to call Sendoh by his given name as well, _Akira_ , but he felt awkward even thinking about it.

There was no more thinking to be done on that matter when Sendoh started kissing his neck. Sendoh relished the contained pleasure under his lips, the vibration of his throat, the quickly beating heart inside Rukawa’s warm chest that he kissed gently, lovingly, like he was scared of breaking him. He leant on his left side beside Rukawa’s right side and slid his free right hand softly up Rukawa’s inner thigh. Rukawa parted his lips at the touch and closed his eyes, gasping. A good sign. Sendoh smiled as he kissed his neck again and touched his hard flesh over his boxers. Rukawa made a choked hoarse noise and tensed up. Another good sign. He fondled it slowly and Rukawa moaned hoarsely, furrowing his brows and closing his eyes.

Sendoh knew he was just not used to the feeling of being touched like that, so he kept going, trusting that he’d let him know if he didn’t like it. He was right to do so because the moment he slid his hand down his boxers and pulled them to expose the length of his hard flesh and gently grabbed it, feeling both his own boner and his heart throb (maybe he had a bit of a heart boner, yes) Rukawa gasped for hair and opened his slightly shiny eyes, looking at him with a definitely horny look.

“I like that” he mumbled breathily “Akira.” His whole face was red, and he closed his eyes again, looking like he’d just said something extremely embarrassing.

The heart boner was real and Sendoh wanted to cry and sing about his love for this adorable man. He’d probably liked being called by his given name, so he wanted to return it and boy, had he been right about it. Sendoh was ascending. He’d never known how powerful the sound of his name could be in someone’s voice.

“Say my name again… _Kaede_.” Sendoh asked in a whisper as he softly started giving him an handy. Rukawa gasped and moaned hoarsely, squirming a little, closing his legs. His body responded so nicely it was amazing.

“A-akira…” Rukawa stammered and Sendoh knew he’d have to take care of his own boner soon because it was starting to ache. But Rukawa read his thoughts, it seemed, because despite his state he was thoughtful enough to reach for the bottle of lotion Sendoh had put behind his head. It was a mess because his hands were shaking but Sendoh chuckled, seeing him squirt a whole lot of the stuff into his hands before dropping the bottle beside him.

“Sh-shut up” Rukawa complained “I don’t want… it’s not fair…” he wanted to say something and Sendoh knew what it was but he couldn’t really articulate it. Then he reached into Sendoh’s boxers. He wasn’t as careful as Sendoh had been with him, and the lotion was cold which made Sendoh wince a little. He gripped it a little too hard for firmness but Sendoh found that he liked it like that. It was his style anyway. Blunt and no beating around the bush.

(Well, kind of beating _in_ the bush.

 _Anyway_.)

“Oh wow…” Sendoh gasped and moaned quietly as Rukawa started masturbating him as well. He was shaking but he didn’t grip it and Sendoh found that a shaky handjob was the best shit ever. Rukawa might have been inexperienced with sex but he also had a dick and he obviously knew how it worked.

Rukawa came first and Sendoh didn’t think anyone could look that sexy while cumming but there he was and if that wasn’t enough, when he came he gripped Sendoh’s dick just as he was about to cum and made him cum harder than he’d ever had. They panted for a while after that and the aftermath was a mess.

Post-nut clarity was good for both, clearly. Sendoh felt like he was dreaming, still and Rukawa wanted to kiss him and go to sleep (it was well past 2am by then and they were seriously exhausted) but Sendoh, despite accepting the kiss (as one does) knew that letting cum dry up was a bad idea so he got up and went to the bathroom to get them a wet towel to clean up the mess. He also got one of their water bottles and took a big swig before passing it over to Rukawa who was finishing grumpily cleaning up.

“Why the water?”

“It’s important to drink water after sex, Kaede.” He smiled and Rukawa’s grumpiness vanished. The first name basis would take a while to settle and just as long to stop working so well. Sendoh capped the bottle and put it near where the candle was after blowing it. They’d be sleeping on the same futon, the dry one.

Cuddling was not an option in that weather but a loose arm over the waist was acceptable and Sendoh was all about that life.

* * *


	7. Day 6 – Cape Sata → Okinawa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're different people now, sort of, and they open up in ways they never did before. Rukawa wants, for the first time in his life, to use his words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sendoh talks to his mum and some funny stuff happens. They bond a lot through conversations inside Sendoh's Toyota Corolla.
> 
> And I'll stop posting the chapters for now but there's more. This will be over 50k words in total. I'll just finish up the entirety of the Okinawa adventures and post all of that in one go just like I did today. 
> 
> See you then.

* * *

The following day they woke up still on the same futon but Rukawa had one leg over Sendoh’s and was curled up against his back which Sendoh thought was hilarious and adorable. The memories of the night felt like a dream but Rukawa wasn’t having that kind of experience.

He knew what had happened, and sure it was new and scary, but he wasn’t going to back down like the men on the radio had said kids like him did when they felt strong emotions for other people. For starters, he wouldn’t change his behaviour towards Sendoh. Not in the way he acted around him anyway. And especially not in the basketball court.

Not waking up alone felt all sorts of strange, though, because it had never happened before. He could tell that Sendoh was awake by the way he was breathing but he didn’t have to say anything because Sendoh turned around to face him. Even stranger looking at Sendoh’s sleepy smiling face. What was he so handsome for?

“’Morning, Kaede.”

Nope, still not used to it.

“Good morning… Akira.” Rukawa muttered, awkwardly and Sendoh chuckled, reaching a hand up to caress his messy hair. Rukawa closed his eyes and leant onto the touch. Just like a cat.

“My name sounds so good in your voice” he said quietly and then scrunched his nose “oh sorry, morning breath.”

Rukawa had noticed it but didn’t care, really. He frowned a little.

“Does my breath bother you?”

“No, not really.” Sendoh chuckled.

“Then don’t apologise, moron. I didn’t complain.”

Sendoh loved to see that Rukawa was acting the same. He was planning on acting the same as well, mostly when they played basketball, but the thing was that he couldn’t help being, well, in love. He’d never really been in love so he couldn’t know that was the way he acted. He just hoped Rukawa didn’t find it annoying.

His answer came in the form of a random kiss on the lips followed by Rukawa getting up quickly.

Wait, that was his way of being sweet as well, wasn’t it?

Sendoh felt like crying a little but instead just grinned and got up as well.

* * *

They took care of their morning hygiene and had breakfast at the hotel before heading out. Sendoh hadn’t really booked a ferry but he imagined that there would be one where he could take his car. He asked the person at the reception desk and she smiled.

“There is a ferry but the trip takes over 30 hours that way, Sendoh-san.”

Rukawa stared blankly at her before glancing at Sendoh, who was feeling incredibly stupid because of course it’d take that long. Okinawa was super far away.

“Oh wow, I’m feeling really silly…” he sighed and ruffled his hair that he was still not styling again because the weather was too damn hot for it and he had to wear a hat “thank you for your help, we’ll figure it out.”

They walked outside to the Toyota Corolla and put their bags in the backseat, near the almost forgotten Kitaro, the one-eyed cat they’d won at the festival on the first day of their road trip.

“We could take a ferry…” Sendoh sighed “but it’d be no fun, being in a boat for so long and not being able to do anything else.” He said as they stood outside the car, leaning against it.

“I don’t feel like finding a fishing boat either.” Rukawa said and Sendoh chuckled, nodding.

“Me neither. I say we leave the car at the Kagoshima airport and take a flight from there.” He looked at Rukawa who looked back at him, a little unsure.

“It’ll be expensive.”

“It’s not your money and it’s not mine either. Let’s just do it, okay?” Sendoh grinned and Rukawa shrugged.

“Fine then, if you say so.” He looked off into the distance, where they could see Cape Sata “Don’t you want to take pictures there?”

“I do.”

“Let’s go.” Rukawa said and Sendoh nodded before getting his camera from the car and following him.

He had to leave a very unimpressed Rukawa sitting on a rock on the cape by the sea, where it was pleasantly fresh, to go get a new camera roll because he’d forgotten that he only had two slots available in the one in the camera.

Sendoh then took more pictures of the view and of Rukawa (who was also part of the view to him) and Rukawa took some of him on the cape, which would definitely turn out amazing. Then Sendoh wanted them to take a picture together and since there was nobody there and there was plenty of floor, he could just set the timer and they could sit away from it, lying on the floor, face down.

Rukawa didn’t expect Sendoh to run towards him, lie down on the floor next to him and kiss his cheek with a smile just as the camera snapped the shot.

“Oi.” Rukawa looked at him, as they sat down after that, and the wind carried the sound of Sendoh’s deep laugh “Won’t someone have to develop those pictures?” He asked, a little concerned, frowning.

Sendoh shrugged. He knew what he meant of course but honestly didn’t care.

“Yeah, so what? We’re making memories and I want this kind of memory in a picture.” He smiled. Rukawa was not convinced even when Sendoh sat beside him after getting the camera back to take one of those blind photos while holding the camera “I seriously don’t care. Don’t worry about it. It’s not like we’re making out anyway, it’s just a kiss on the cheek.” He said and then snorted “Knowing people, they’ll probably think we’re related.”

Rukawa made a face.

“We’re not related. That’s weird.”

Sendoh laughed and readied the timer.

“I know, it’s just that people would rather pretend it doesn’t exist and make up theories than accept it.” He said and smiled at the camera. Rukawa was frowning, still but leaning against Sendoh.

Rukawa just wanted Sendoh to be safe, which was fairly obvious. He might have not known much about himself, his feelings and his sexuality but he did know the world sucked and he did hear about the hate crimes. He wanted none of that to happen to Sendoh.

“Ah, I need to use a phone.” Sendoh said as they were walking back to the hotel’s carpark. Rukawa looked at him “To call my mum, she’s probably worried. I said I’d call and it’s been six days.”

“There’s one right there.” Rukawa pointed a telephone booth on the pavement by the hotel and they walked over there. Sendoh inserted a couple coins in the slot and dialled the number. There were hardly three rings before someone picked up.

“Hey, mum, it’s Akira.” Sendoh said with a smile and then fell silent as his mum started sobbing on the other end of the line. Rukawa could hear her and looked at Sendoh who just smiled and listened “I know, I’m sorry. I should have called earlier. I kind of forgot because… uh, I had an issue to solve.”

Wait, what? What _issue_? Rukawa was interested, somewhat upset also, because he low-key knew the issue had something to do with him, if Sendoh’s quick glance in his direction was anything to go by.

“I have, mum. I’ve been eating well and drinking lots of water, the weather is crazy hot down here.” He sighed and then paused “Oh, I forgot to tell you, sorry. We’re in Cape Sata right now.” Another pause “In Kagoshima, mum. Kyuushu.” He snorted “No way, I never drive over 4 hours straight.”

Technically it wasn’t a lie. He’d just driven the longest stretch without sleeping properly the previous day. Nothing had happened, so it didn’t matter. He also seemed to be omitting the bit where he’d reacted to a mugging and almost gotten stabbed. It was probably for the best, Rukawa figured hearing how stressed his mum was.

“I told you I wasn’t coming alone.” He said and chuckled, shaking his head even though she couldn’t see him “No, it’s not Hikoichi. It’s Rukawa Kaede. A good friend of mine.” He blinked and chuckled after a small sigh “No, it’s a friend from basketball. He plays in a different school. I’ve told you about him, I play basketball with him after school.” He chuckled again and fed the phone more coins to keep the call running “Yes, his name is Kaede.” A pause and a chuckle “It’s a pretty name, I know.” He glanced at Rukawa was feeling kind of worried and upset that he was talking about him and being all nice “He’s not offended, don’t worry.”

 _Offended?_ Rukawa mouthed, confused.

“She thought you were a girl because of your pretty name.” Sendoh said in a low voice that his mother picked up. She gasped.

Rukawa opened his mouth, a little shocked. He knew his _unisex_ name sounded like a girl’s name (it was spelled with a single kanji, the kanji for maple leaf) but nobody had commented on that in many years because they knew the consequences of wronging him.

(How do you think he got so good at fighting?

That’s right.)

“I’m so sorry, Kaede-kun!” Sendoh’s mum yelled from the speaker after Sendoh got it away from his ear and silently lost his shit, laughing to tears “I’m really sorry! Your name is very pretty, oh my God. I feel so silly!”

Rukawa wanted to punch Sendoh in the gut for putting him in that situation when they were barely even a thing. He was already talking to his mother!

“It’s fine.” He said getting closer to the speaker and glaring daggers at Sendoh who was still laughing. She apologised again “It’s really fine” she said his name was pretty again “thank you.”

She was clearly not taking it well and was about as ridiculous as her son in doing useless things. He’d already said it was fine, which it was, but she kept apologising. It had been an honest mistake and she didn’t have to feel that guilty. Why were people like that?

Sendoh fed the phone a couple more coins and spoke with her a while longer and said he’d be back in around 5 days and explained that he’d gotten behind his original schedule because he’d went sightseeing a bit with ‘Kaede’. Rukawa wasn’t sure if his mum would pick up on the tone and the first name basis. Maybe he did pick up on it just biased because he knew what was up.

“Okay, bye, mum. Love you.” He said and put the phone back. It didn’t give him any change even though it should have “Oh well, it’s not my money anyway.”

Rukawa was silent all the way back to the car and up until the point they buckled up after rolling down the windows. Sendoh was looking at him with a smile, waiting as usual and Rukawa actually did want to speak up.

“I see who you get it from.”

“What do you mean? I never said your name sounds like a girl’s name.” Sendoh defended “I never even thought about it, honestly. It’s a name with an obvious meaning. Why should a leaf have a gender? Makes no sense to me.”

That made Rukawa’s annoyance subside a little because he felt the same. Why the hell would a leaf have a gender?

“Not that. Apologising for no reason. Once was more than enough.” He stated and Sendoh chuckled, finally getting it “I like my name.” He declared and meant it. He liked how simple and straight-forward it was. Nobody ever asked how to spell it because they already knew how to spell maple leaf.

“That’s not the only reason she was apologising though.” Sendoh smiled and Rukawa looked at him “She thought I’d brought a secret girlfriend along so when she realised you were a man, she freaked out.”

Rukawa felt his heart race and widened his eyes. How the fuck had this guy managed to laugh and keep it cool when he’d almost been caught not a full day after they’d started their _thing_?

(No, he wasn’t going to call it anything more than ‘a thing’ just yet. Too early.)

“I see what you’re thinking.” Sendoh smiled and Rukawa frowned “I did get worried because I don’t know if she will ever accept it, but I’m used to keeping my emotions under check.” He said and started the car “All thanks to fishing.” He winked and Rukawa made a face which made him chuckle “We should start fishing together.”

Rukawa huffed and popped a cassette tape in the deck as Sendoh drove off.

“It’s an old man’s thing. It’s boring.”

“It may be an old man’s thing but it’s good for you.” Sendoh said and smiled “And it’s not about the fishing in itself for me, in case that wasn’t obvious.”

It should have been, Rukawa realised, thinking back on how much Sendoh didn’t care about actually catching fish. He let Sendoh keep talking, enjoying the now familiar sound of his calm voice.

“It’s about thinking and enjoying a moment of silent peace by the water. It feels like you’re doing something but you’re actually not and that helps you think better, at least it helps me.” Sendoh kept going, feeling like he should open up more if he wanted to build a relationship of actual trust between them “I got it from my grandpa.” He paused and sighed a bit before saying “He’s dead.”

Rukawa was silent for a second. Were they treading into personal territory?

“I’m sorry to hear it.” Rukawa said quietly and Sendoh smiled.

“Thank you.” Sendoh said “Four years ago on a day like this. Sunny, in the summer. He was ill for months before that, he died peacefully.” He said and Rukawa nodded “He was my mum’s dad and I think of him as my actual dad.” He fell silent for a couple seconds before deciding that he wanted to go headfirst into personal territory “There’s a difference between being a dad and being a father. My father is a father, not a dad.”

Rukawa noticed that he liked to hear more about Sendoh, private things. Sendoh was just like him in that he didn’t share things about himself. He’d been talking for the whole trip (except the dreadful previous evening which he’d hated and would see that it never happened again if he could help it) and he felt like he knew nothing about him.

“Makes sense.” Rukawa said and then hesitated before just going for it and sharing something personal for the first time in his life “I don’t have a relationship with my parents or extended family.”

Sendoh looked at him in silence, worried. He knew about how that random radio programme near Miyazaki had shook him, but he didn’t know the details. No relationship? That was tough. He didn’t know if he should say he was sorry to hear it or express the sympathy he was actually feeling.

“That’s shit.”

Right move.

“It’s fine though. I’m used to it.” Rukawa shrugged. That hurt to hear. Sendoh glanced at him to assess his expression, but it was blank as ever which was heart-breaking. Rukawa didn’t deserve to feel that way.

“So, you live alone?” He asked, trying to keep it sounding casual.

“Yes. My father lives in the US and my mother lives in Hokkaido. I stayed here…” wait no, damn, he really didn’t know how to express himself “I mean, not here” he corrected gesturing vaguely out of the window “in Kanagawa not in Kagoshima.”

Sendoh hummed and nodded a little. He wasn’t sure if he should bring up the attachment issues he seemed to have so he didn’t. If Rukawa wanted to mention that, he would. Rukawa was silent for a while as the rock music poured from the radio, the Japanese song, _Kimi ga sukidato sakebitai_ by BAAD, which was playing at a low volume.

“I guess I’m messed up because of that.” He mumbled at last, quietly, looking out of his window with the wind blowing his hair back softly. Sendoh didn’t want to lie and say he wasn’t messed up because he felt like denying it wouldn’t be helpful in the slightest. The man on the radio had talked about therapy and therapy meant addressing the issues, not sweeping them under a rug.

“If it helps, I like you anyway.” Sendoh said, a little uncertainly. Rukawa glanced at him with pursed lips before looking away again “I don’t want you to misunderstand what I’m saying, Kaede.” He kept going, Rukawa’s annoyance vanished at the sound of his name “What I mean is that you’re still a lovable person, despite your issues. I don’t mean that it’s okay to have issues and not work on them.” He explained his thoughts. Rukawa listened “I have issues myself and I try to work on them by playing basketball… and fishing.” He smiled and shrugged before adding “And I think that basketball was what put you on the straight and narrow.”

Rukawa looked at him again before sighing. He knew he was thinking about how he’d given that kid the basketball ball and told him to play basketball and he was right to assume that because that was the reason he’d done it. He wasn’t the same as that kid because he never actually sought any weird friends to fit in, but he’d done some stupid shit for attention as a small child.

“You’re right.” Rukawa said simply “I never felt the need for friends though.”

“And that’s just your personality. You’re someone who can enjoy his own company and I like that about you.” Sendoh offered. Rukawa looked at him and shrugged “You’re also thoughtful and protective.” Now he was being a little shit on purpose to get him to react. It worked. Rukawa lightly punched his side “I’m driving!”

“You’re driving me crazy, that’s what you’re doing.” Rukawa mumbled, almost inaudibly and Sendoh would have missed it if he hadn’t been paying attention.

“Oh?”

Rukawa’s face got red and regret flashed through his eyes.

“Shut up.” He complained.

“I’m just messing with you.” Sendoh said and snorted “I’m surprised you haven’t asked about how I said I had an issue to solve.”

Rukawa blinked and remembered with a pang. He was right, this guy was driving him crazy for real.

“I want to make it clear that you were not the issue, the issue were the feelings I have for you and didn’t know until a couple days ago. I also didn’t think they could be mutual, so there’s that too.” He smiled, explaining right away not waiting for Rukawa to get upset even further and shifting the gear as he got on the highway bound for the Kagoshima Airport “Which was really stupid and should have been obvious because I would have probably not come if you hadn’t come.”

“What?” Rukawa asked, feeling his heart beat faster, seriously surprised “What about Hikoichi?”

“He asked me to come with, then flaked out last minute” Sendoh snorted “and God bless him, but I was glad he did. Another sign I missed.” He snorted and shook his head before making a bit of a silly “It sure was a straight man move to want to spend a fortnight alone with another man inside a Toyota Corolla.”

Rukawa’s annoyance vanished with the casual honesty and the humorous way he put it. He put his hand on his mouth and looked to the side, shaking a little with silent laughter.

Sendoh felt like he was ascending and couldn’t believe his eyes. After six whole days he’d made Rukawa laugh. Actually, no. After _two years_ of knowing him and meeting him several times a week he’d never even seen him look mildly amused with anything he’d said. Yet there he was, laughing over him making a silly joke about his sexuality and feelings.

“You’re laughing!”

Rukawa looked at him, recomposed but still smiling. Sendoh ascended spiritually when he saw the adorable single-dimple smile on his face. Nothing had ever felt so special to him as that one smile. He didn’t need a picture to remember it forever.

“You’re an idiot.” Rukawa snorted and slowly went back to normal. Sendoh feared that he’d never smile again if he commented on it, so he didn’t. Rukawa didn’t even think about it because not laughing a lot and not smiling often wasn’t something he did on purpose. It was just his personality.

“I know. Only an idiot wouldn’t realise his own feelings when they were so obvious.”

Rukawa fell silent as he swapped the tape for a Scorpions one. Well, to be fair, he’d never noticed either. It was even crazier in his case.

“I didn’t either.” Rukawa said, evenly. It wasn’t embarrassing, really. Facts weren’t embarrassing to him and they were having their first ever heart to heart. Or their first ever heart to heart in general “Even though I was angry when you had a girlfriend a couple months ago.”

Sendoh widened his eyes in shock and gripped the steering wheel. He wanted to cry. That guy was even denser than he’d thought. In his case at least he hadn’t had the chance to feel jealous because Rukawa hated his fanclub.

“You got angry.”

“I did.” Rukawa confirmed “I didn’t know why so I didn’t say anything and ignored it. You kept playing basketball with me, so I didn’t have reasons to be angry, so I stopped being.” Rukawa explained his logic and Sendoh chuckled as he changed directions.

“Only that you _did_.” Sendoh said and Rukawa huffed, shrugging “And she broke up with me because I’d rather be fishing or be with you in my free time than be with her.” He added, just for good measure. It was true but Rukawa couldn’t know it. He looked at him blankly “Yep. That’s the truth. I guess we’re both idiots because that should have been hint enough for me too.” He shook his head a bit and they’d entered a local street because they had to in order to get to the other stretch of the highway. There was another traffic jam. Sendoh sighed and clicked his tongue before smiling “I guess we’ll have to wait a bit. I hope nobody’s had a heart attack this time.”

Rukawa huffed and looked ahead trying to see what had happened but there were too many cars. Sendoh wasn’t too bothered though, he just looked out the window into the buildings. There were shops there one of which had a funny name. It was an apparel shop called ‘Naked’. Sendoh had a fit of laughter that Rukawa didn’t really understand. Sure the name was dumb but it wasn’t that funny.

“Get to our shop and buy nothing at all!” Sendoh laughed and then gasped remembering the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes “Oh, do you know the tale of the Emperor’s New Clothes?”

Rukawa frowned a little and then shook his head.

“Do you want to hear it?”

“If you want to tell it.”

“Okay” Sendoh beamed. He loved lore and stories “so there was this European Emperor who wanted to have the fanciest outfit that he could get but he was also very dumb. So he was tricked by two con-artists into giving them a lot of money in exchange for an amazing outfit that would wow everyone in the kingdom. Then they got the money and tricked the emperor. They said they’d made an outfit that only smart people could see” he chortled “but there was obviously nothing there. The emperor didn’t want to seem dumb so he said it was a lovely outfit and the next day he acted like he was putting it on and went out to show it off to his subjects on a parade. Everyone had been told beforehand by the emperors’ servants that the outfit was only seen by smart people so everyone was gushing over it, saying how beautiful and amazing it was until a small child started laughing and pointed saying ‘Look! The Emperor is naked!’ and people finally gave in and laughed too because the Emperor was really naked. The emperor was very embarrassed and tried to find the con-artists, but they were long gone with the money.”

Rukawa liked the story and he also liked that Sendoh had told him it.

“That’s a good story.” He said and Sendoh grinned. That moment the traffic started moving again, too “The kid was the only reasonable one there.”

“That’s the point. Children can’t be talked into conforming to adult nonsense.” Sendoh explained “Ah” he sighed looking out the window and seeing the sign for Nagasaki, way too far. The trip to the airport would be almost four hours as it was, taking a detour would take too long “it would have been nice to stop in Nagasaki…”

“When we return, we can stop there on the way back to Kanagawa.” Rukawa suggested and Sendoh smiled and nodded.

“Good plan. We can do that. We have plenty of time.”

Rukawa wanted to tell him something but didn’t really know how to or what exactly he wanted to say. He decided to say nothing and just kind of do his own thing when the opportunity presented itself.

They got to the airport after a bit longer on the road that gave them the chance to chat about basketball and about the sights and about that man who left his car’s door open where he shouldn’t and had the door ripped off the car and thrown onto the road by another car. The other driver kept going and the man in the car stared at the damage before forlornly walking over to his door, picking it up, walking back to his own car, popping the boot and throwing the door in. Then they saw him get back in the car and drive off with no door.

Regular business, Sendoh said with a mildly confused look. Rukawa shrugged.

You had to book a parking place at the airport, if you wanted to leave the car there safely and Sendoh just booked it not really bothering to ask for numbers. Then he checked them in with their luggage, which wasn’t a lot so they could take it in the cabin and got them coach tickets. Finally, they got some sandwiches and sodas for lunch and then sat down, waiting for their flight which would be at 3pm. It was half past 1pm.

“Isn’t it weird how premium things at the airport feel even when they’re sandwiches made with the driest bread possible?” Sendoh asked with a grin, crunching through his sandwich and littering the floor with breadcrumbs. Rukawa had spread his legs not to get crumbs on his thighs. It wasn’t their fault that the floor was getting dirty, the bread really was dry. They chased it with some sodas. Rukawa huffed.

“For that ridiculous price, I think they could afford better bread. And more meat.” He complained. Sendoh chuckled and nodded, humming a bit as he looked around at the crowded space.

“Hm, makes you think how much they charge for having a shop here.”

“I always thought it was because they think tourists are rich.”

“Fair, maybe it’s a bit of both.” Sendoh shrugged and finished his sandwich with a sigh “That wasn’t bad but also wasn’t good.”

“It’s edible.”

“That.” Sendoh pointed in agreement and got the wrapping paper and the empty can of soda Rukawa had just finished. He got up and binned their rubbish before returning and sitting down. He was silent for a moment and so was Rukawa who vaguely staring ahead at the passing people and the drone of mixed voices and the wheels of suitcases trundling by quickly.

Airports were odd places. They had that liminal quality to them because they were places where one wasn’t meant to dwell there for longer than a few hours at a time. There was even a film about that. Sitting out there on that black plastic seat looking at the crowd with Sendoh sitting beside him, making some noise with paper he’d just gotten out of his bag, made Rukawa think about a lot of jumbled up things he couldn’t make sense of. Maybe he really was a dumbass. He was sure of one thing though – he had strong feelings for Sendoh. They were strong and they were scary but he’d already fought against that and was willing to keep fighting because he was one stubborn bastard. Still, he didn’t want that trip to end without him having said to Sendoh just how much he meant to him.

He finally knew what he wanted to tell him. The new challenge was finding the words and the right moment to say those words.

“You folded a fish.” He blinked when he was brought back from his thoughts by Sendoh going ‘Blub Blub’ and waving an origami fish in front of his eyes “Lame.”

Sendoh chortled heartily and practically made him accept the folded fish. Rukawa gave him a slightly upset look holding the fish.

“It’s a good fish!” He defended “And it’s for you, you can call it-“

“MASAMUNE!” Someone shouted drawing a lot of attention.

“Masamune.” He pointed in the voice’s general direction. Rukawa looked there as well “That’s a good name for a fish I think.”

 _Masamune_ was the name of an elderly gentleman who seemed just as startled to have his name shouted like that in the middle of a crowded airport and looked back to see someone crying and shaking. There was a flash of recognition in this elder’s eyes and then there was shock and ultimately tears and simultaneous quick steps towards the other elderly man who’d just shouted his name.

They held each other when they met so tightly it felt like they’d actually manage to break each other’s backs. Some people around them glanced vaguely but not many actually looked like Sendoh and Rukawa were looking.

“What you think they’re saying?” Sendoh asked and Rukawa shrugged but he was somewhat curious.

“Who knows.”

They were about to find out because Masamune and his friend were walking in their direction and sat on a bench near them. Both looked shaken and both were drenched in tears but they could hear them talk. The other man’s name was Haruhiko. Haru, his old friend told him, slapping his arm, telling him they’d known each other all their lives. They were childhood friends, it seemed, but had lost contact sometime in the 50s after fighting together in the Great War and living to tell the story, marrying and moving to different parts of the country. Their childhood homes no longer existed because they were from Nagasaki in the impact zone.

Their families had been wiped out while they were at sea, from what was implied in what they were saying without saying because the trauma was too huge for words. They had no homes to return to and no addresses and they didn’t even know the other was alive. Masamune had saved Haru’s life twice during the war and was visibly upset that Masamune was both suggesting that he might be getting senile and that he’d forget his best friend who was like a brother to him. Both had still living wives who were great and were doing great, both had had children, and both already had several grandkids. Haruhiko’s youngest daughter had recently gotten married. Then they got their wallets out as old people do and started showing the pictures of their loved ones, mostly young photos, and telling each other about them.

Finally, they exchanged addresses and phone numbers and promised to meet again since it seemed like by a generous act of fate Masamune’s son and Haruhiko’s daughter were living there. Masamune was arriving to visit his son in his new home and Haruhiko was leaving back to Hokkaido, where he lived, after visiting his daughter at her new home. Haruhiko lived in Kyoto.

Sendoh had a gut feeling and exchanged a look with Rukawa because it was wild, but life had weird ways of bringing people back together and reconnecting old bonds. Even after 40 odd years.

“That’s a happy coincidence that our kids would be living here. My girl and her husband moved here because he got a job opportunity here and it was too good to pass up. She’s managed to get a job as well. She’s a teacher.” Haruhiko commented, still wiping at his eyes which kept getting filled with water the more he looked at his friend “What’s your boy’s name?”

“Masaharu.” Said Masamune and it was clear that something was clicking in his mind “I chose Haru because, because of you. You’ve always been like a brother to me. We were raised, we were raised together” he choked on his tears and Haru nodded, before shaking his head. It hurt too much to talk about it and it would until the day that they died. Masamune stopped talking about that “I’ve told them about you and always said you were like a brother to me and the only person I could still hope to be alive from my boyhood. You’re my only living family, Haru. I thought, I thought I had nobody but you’re here.” He said and smiled amidst his tears and grabbed his friend’s wrinkled cheeks which made him chuckle despite his own tears “We’re old but here. We’re alive.”

Haru nodded and put his hands over his friend’s brownish knuckles. Sendoh sniffled softly and Rukawa glanced at him seeing his shiny eyes and small smile, looking away, pretending not to be looking as he himself was doing. He knew he was probably thinking about his granddad who had been around these men’s age when he passed. There was a sting in his own eyes he reached his hand over to Sendoh and softly touched his side without looking at him. Sendoh glanced at him and smiled, shaking his head but thankful for the empathy.

“That’s, that’s actually the reason my son and his wife moved here. He got a job opportunity.” Sendoh and Rukawa saw at once that their gut feeling had been right when they heard Masamune say that to Haru.

Haru wasn’t able to speak then and Sendoh feared that these poor men would have some sort of attack from all the emotions. Masamune clearly didn’t know it yet because while he was crying it wasn’t convulsive like Haru who was now holding on tightly to his friend and being held back.

“Masaharu, Yukimura Masaharu.” He blubbered and then finally manage to smile “That’s the name of my, that’s the name of my son-in-law, my girl’s name is Chitose. No longer, no longer Kasahara because she married a Yukimura.”

Masamune was surprised again before smiling through his tears again, truly beaming this time.

“That’s, that’s… I have no words” He stammered and Haru nodded “I, I can’t believe… how come we never met? I was in the hospital when they married because I’d, I’d messed up my back and could only see the tape later. My eyes aren’t what they used to be, or I’d have, I’d have known it was you. I didn’t think to ask about what her father’s name was either because I’m a big old fool.”

“Kotoe and I were planning to move down from Hokkaido because the kids are all down here now. I think we may move to Kyoto.” Haruhiko said with a smile and Masamune sniffled with a chuckle “We’ll be together again, my brother. Death will have to pry you away from me now!” Tears streamed down his smiling, wrinkled face again “I thought I’d die without knowing what had happened to you, but you were a call away. I was careless enough to never think of asking what Masaharu-kun’s dad name was because I’m a fool and it didn’t matter.”

Masamune laughed heartily, wiping his eyes.

“You always were, you big idiot! He looks just like me when I was younger! My eyes are bad but I’m not an airhead like you!”

That prompted a loud laugh from Haruhiko who took no offense as that was clearly something that came from way back. The two elders kept chatting about their lives until it was time for Haruhiko to return to Hokkaido and he looked at the ticket then at the panel and then at his friend and smiled.

“I’ll tell Kotoe to come over instead. She’ll meet you and Misae-san too. I don’t think I’m ready to leave you alone just now. Maybe we can all talk about the move down to Kyoto.” He smiled. Masamune grinned and nodded. The two elders stood up and walked to the check in area, probably to see if the date could be altered or something.

“I didn’t expect a ride like that out of the blue.” Sendoh commented when they were already away “But I’m happy for them. Thanks for getting me then. I thought I’d break down.” Rukawa nodded vaguely but feeling a lot of emotions about it.

Those two old friends had met by chance at an airport after over 40 years of lost contact. Back then there had been no phones and not even knowing where the other was or what had come of him, looking in phone lists would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. They’d said so themselves. They’d both tried to find the other’s name on casualty lists. Time had brought them together and it turned out they’d been connected all along because life would have it that their kids would end up married and having the same grandkids.

It was a random moment they’d witnessed. Happens often, seeing things, moments that we’re not supposed to see and affect us in some way. That didn’t have much to do with Rukawa and Sendoh because those men were clearly just friends, but life had brought them together just as it had split them. It was easier to lose touch with people back then since technology wasn’t as advanced and it was harder to get to a phone. In those men’s case, there wasn’t even an address because everything had vanished into thin air in the blink of an eye. These days everyone had a landline phone, and some portable phones were starting to show up.. Rukawa found that kind of inconvenient, he wouldn’t lie. Didn’t much fancy the idea of being reachable at all times and those phones were huge. He’d stick to landlines and letters, thank you very much.

It wasn’t like they’d lose touch that easily even after Sendoh graduated but Rukawa realised at last that he’d been deeply scared of that all along. He didn’t know of his abandonment issues until the previous day and he’d have to gather the guts to try and get some help, improve himself, become a fully functional adult. He knew he wouldn’t end up like the person in the story on the radio, but he didn’t want to be alone.

For the first time in his life he realised that he didn’t want to be alone. Like he’d told Sendoh, he’d never force him to stay but he’d like it if he didn’t.

And it was finally time for their flight. Off they went to their gate, gave the lady their tickets, got in, sat side by side and 5 minutes into the air and safe to remove the belt, Rukawa was napping, using Sendoh’s shoulder as a pillow. The position he was in couldn’t be too comfortable, but he was sleeping soundly. Sendoh smiled a little and leant closer to make it better for him to lean onto him.

Sendoh grabbed the pair of headphones each passenger was handed and connected the jack to the entry in his seat to tune in the plane’s radio. They had some ballads on and that’s exactly what he needed. Something soft and mindlessly gooey to match how he felt, flying down to Okinawa with Rukawa.

He knew he wanted to keep playing basketball but he had to get a degree because his father had talked him into it. So he’d get a degree in sports and play basketball at the best university in the country. His father wasn’t bad per se, it was more that he wasn’t really there and he barely knew him. He provided for him and his mum and he wasn’t abusive so there wasn’t a lot to complain about, really. He just resented him for not being there and he did know he sounded like a spoiled brat complaining about his dirty knees. People like Hanamichi, who was an orphan living on welfare, who’d be on his own once he turned 18 because the system would stop providing the bare minimum for him, had it much worse. Yet Hanamichi never complained or groused about his life. Rukawa’s parents neglected him blatantly and he didn’t complain about it either. To be fair, Sendoh didn’t complain either, really, but he felt spoiled anyway for feeling the way he felt about his father, when he had a loving mother and had had an amazing father figure growing up.

The thoughts of leaving Rukawa for Uni plagued him though, especially now, knowing he had serious abandonment issues. It wasn’t that he wouldn’t go to the Uni because he wanted to stay with him but he was worried about him. The surprise in that came from the realisation that he’d been worried since long before that fateful trip. Maybe he knew that Rukawa didn’t mind being alone but didn’t want to be alone all along. It shouldn’t be hard to tell, really, because he always wanted to hang out.

Now here he was listening to grainy ballads on a plane with him flying to Okinawa. The return tickets were for 3 days later and Sendoh wanted to make the most of that time with him, far away, without a care in the world. As soon as they got back in his Toyota Corolla to get back to Kanagawa reality would start hitting as they drove up the country and he wanted to be ready for that. He wanted to know where he was going both physically and metaphorically.

The flight attendant came through with those expensive snacks and Sendoh got some along with some drinks for both himself and Rukawa, who was still sleeping. They’d only had those dry sandwiches for lunch and the flight wasn’t that short.

Rukawa woke up a little bit after that because the plane moved a little awkwardly. The pilot had warned them about a little turbulence, but he hadn’t heard it. He groaned and frowned getting away from Sendoh a little confused and with a stiff neck.

“I’m dizzy…” he mumbled looking out the window as he massaged his neck. Then he looked at Sendoh who was looking at him with a little smile. He’d take a long time to get used to seeing Sendoh with his hair down like that. He looked too real like that and that made no sense but it was what was in Rukawa’s mind when they locked eyes “food.” He said instead of addressing his thoughts. Sendoh gave him the snacks he’d gotten for him along with the soda.

“Did you sleep well?”

“My neck is a bit sore…” he said quietly unwrapping a Mars Bar and taking a bite. It helped with the dizziness which was likely because of his neck anyway.

“We could have gotten one of those neck pillows” Sendoh said with a sigh and the smile blooming on his face, the amusement in his eyes, was a sign that he wasn’t thinking only about the neck pillow. Rukawa waited and then it came “but then again, I also forgot about my fishing gear.”

Rukawa stopped chewing to look at him not knowing how to properly react to that.

He’d forgotten his fishing gear that he’d brought along on that fishing trip to go to Okinawa to do some fishing. He’d forgotten that fishing gear and he was giving him that silly ass apologetic look he gave him every time he took detours during their trip, Rukawa was yet to confirm if they were really accidental, but he was giving him that same look and it was frankly annoying. Not as annoying as Rukawa made it look with his reaction. It was more out of a sense of moral obligation to call him out that he did so.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Sendoh chuckled and sighed in relief “I thought you’d be mad.”

Rukawa fell silent, musing. He decided to go for honesty since, well, they had a different kind of relationship now, didn’t they?

“You said you wanted to come down here with me” he lowered his voice and felt his cheeks warm up. _That_ was annoying “so I don’t think it’s weird that you’d forget that.” He said with a huff “You’re still an idiot though.”

Sendoh pressed his lips together and looked at him with a concealed smile and concealed emotions.

“Don’t say things like that when we’re in public.” He said lowering his voice as well and smiling. Rukawa didn’t get it immediately “You’re too honest and too cute.”

“I’m not cute.”

“I don’t mean it like that.” He said for the umpteenth time. Rukawa sighed and looked away.

“Then what the hell do you mean?”

“I mean the way you act” he said quietly, almost whispering so that nobody would hear them “the way you express yourself. It’s cute and I’m thankful you’re trying so hard, Kaede.”

The sound of his name and the magic of it in Akira Sendoh’s voice. Rukawa’s aggravation vanished and he glanced at him, wary of their surroundings. He didn’t say anything but he nodded which was enough for Sendoh.

“They got headphones to plug into the seat. I checked. There’s a rock station.” He told him with a smile pointing him his headphones that were still untouched. Rukawa hummed, interested and picked them up, plugging them in.

“Bet you’re listening to some cheesy ballads.”

“You’re betting on the winner then.” Sendoh grinned and in a whispered voice started singing in a funny English accent _“Ohh baby I love your way, every day-y-y…”_

Rukawa couldn’t hold back a small smile and Sendoh flew into space. He had never been surer of anything more in his life than of how much he wanted to make this man happy. Maybe basketball was something he was also sure of but Rukawa was basketball too.

He was everything.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Excuse any typos, eating words, and otherwise weird stuff that could be avoided if I had my stuff beta'd.


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